Comments on: The Spurrious Rhetoric of Singlism http://onely.org/2009/01/02/the-spurrious-rhetoric-of-singlism/ Fresh perspectives on living solo. Sat, 02 Jun 2012 00:39:00 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.com/ By: Great Onelies in Real Time: Wang GuiYing « Onely. http://onely.org/2009/01/02/the-spurrious-rhetoric-of-singlism/comment-page-1/#comment-413 Wed, 14 Jan 2009 02:12:26 +0000 http://onely.org/?p=1045#comment-413 [...] a coincidence that Spears’ article appears in The Daily Mail, the same venue that published Super Singlist Pam Spurr’s rant on how single women who say they are happy are liars? What’s with The Daily Mail? Is it kind [...]

]]> By: Rachel http://onely.org/2009/01/02/the-spurrious-rhetoric-of-singlism/comment-page-1/#comment-385 Wed, 07 Jan 2009 22:57:22 +0000 http://onely.org/?p=1045#comment-385 CC: This caught my eye as I am struggling, as so often, with a brain-numbing job: “a brain-flexing, well-paid job that also allows me time for acupuncture appointments and writing.” What do you do for your pay? (Feel free to utilize my email address if you don’t want to post the response…)

]]> By: onely http://onely.org/2009/01/02/the-spurrious-rhetoric-of-singlism/comment-page-1/#comment-374 Mon, 05 Jan 2009 17:28:17 +0000 http://onely.org/?p=1045#comment-374 I am worried because I turn 30 in a little over 4 months — I am bracing myself for the disappointment and total, overwhelming misery that is destined to follow!!!

This is such a super post, CC — I am finally alone and home (home alone, ha!) after two very long weeks. Will post more soon too :)

L

]]> By: onely http://onely.org/2009/01/02/the-spurrious-rhetoric-of-singlism/comment-page-1/#comment-373 Mon, 05 Jan 2009 01:03:13 +0000 http://onely.org/?p=1045#comment-373 Rachel, that is a great list of ten things science says make us happy–my favorite is “say thank you like you mean it.” I have been trying that and it’s interesting–it feels different to say “thank you” to someone who sold you a jug of milk, if you say it thinking that this person stands on their feet all day so you can have the convenience of your milk, than if you say it very rote.

So THANKS for all your comments, Copious Readers Rachel, Lauri, Bobby, and Nicole!
CC

]]> By: onely http://onely.org/2009/01/02/the-spurrious-rhetoric-of-singlism/comment-page-1/#comment-372 Mon, 05 Jan 2009 00:59:28 +0000 http://onely.org/?p=1045#comment-372 Lauri makes some really great points–

“If someone were to say that they were unhappy because they had fallen short of making their first million by age 30, the general response would be that this is a weird reason to be unhappy, even though the goal of earning money is relatively controllable. But someone who says they’re unhappy to be single at age 30 is perfectly justified,” Absolutely–isn’t this wierd? I think we all have some goals that are “arbitrary” as you say–some of us have the arbitrary goal of finding a life partner, and some of us have the arbitrary goal of making X number of dollars, and some of us want to become an expert in Appalachian folk music. Right now the first goal is the one that is most sanctioned and respected in society. We need to reshift so that all those equally arbitrary goals are given equal respect and weight.

” I was very depressed over the issue, but only because I had NEVER dated. Once I started dating, I realized how overrated the entire process is!” This cracked me up. So true!! But many industries and political lobbies find it’s to overrate dating/coupling, unfortunately.

“I also think it’s impossible for anyone to say that they “want to get married” without adding a “to person x.” You can’t want to get married if you don’t have anyone in mind!” I agree absolutely. However, I think a lot of people who say “I want to get married” are *really* saying “I want to find someone fabulous enough to always be a part of my life, always be accessible, and always give love to me.” Nothing wrong with wanting that, as long as you realize it might not be super realistic.
–CC

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