Stop the Madness! Onely’s Top Ten Reasons NOT to Get Married… January 9, 2009Posted by Onely in "Against Love"...?, As If!, Food for Thought, Heteronormativity, single and happy.
Tags: bunko, matrimania, single and happy, stop the madness!, weddings
As I mentioned in my previous post about heteronormative wedding cards, part of my holiday madness included attending and participating in the wedding of one of my good friends. Every time I go to a wedding, I can’t help but count the many reasons why I never want to get married (and/or have a wedding). This one was no different — and because my friend IS a close friend who also happens to like to control everything in her life, the reasons I normally have against weddings seemed magnified in this case.
So, in the spirit of all of us who feel justified never wanting a wedding of our own, Onely presents … “Stop the Madness! Top Ten Reasons We Never Want to Get Married”:
- Who wants to write all those thank-you cards?!
- Even if your parents *are* loaded, they won’t be after the wedding!
- Who says your parents are paying, anyway? And what will they demand in return? (For my best friend, it meant that certain Bible verses had to be read during the ceremony)
- How many times do you have to say you’re SORRY for bitching out your mate, your best friends, members of your family (who could help it!) in moments of extreme stress?
- There’s always the question of changing your name — if you’re female, there’s the decision itself (which is often a tough one), and if you’re male, I hear the paperwork’s a BITCH.
- Coordinating a big (or small – I hear it always feels HUGE) event is NOT an easy task, especially if you’re not prone to organization or planning ahead.
- All those silly bridal magazines and wedding books!
- C’mon, do you *really* care about the flowers that much? It’s not an easy task to learn to live with yourself when you realize that you have been caring excessively about every minor detail and no one else will even notice!
- Your living quarters become a chaotic mess as the gifts come pouring in. What are you supposed to do with all this STUFF?!
- Everyone else has an opinion about how “things” should be done. Seriously, does your mother’s bunko friend really need to give her two cents? And WHY is your mother listening to her?!
Dear readers — what would you add to our list?