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America’s Most Heteronormative Ghost April 8, 2009

Posted by Onely in Heteronormativity.
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hauntedcolorado.net

Some say the Stanley Hotel in Estes Park, Colorado is the most haunted building in America. My sister and I took a ghost tour there last weekend, and it’s definitely spooky, even though I think they have changed the color of the wainscotting since filming Stephen King’s The Shining there some years ago.

Our tour guide, a dynamic woman wearing a poofy black dress and calling herself “Scary Mary” (she could pull it off (the name, not the dress) ) told us about the spirit children singing London Bridge on the fourth floor, the piano in the ballroom that plays by itself, the ghostly maintenance men crawling around under the pipes, and about the head chambermaid loyal to the Stanleys for over a hundred years: Mrs. Wilson in the famous Room 217, where King wrote his book.

Scary Mary described Mrs. Wilson as “a Victorian lady–imagine that high collar, very prim and proper.” If Mrs. Wilson likes a guest, she unpacks their luggage in neat piles. If she doesn’t like the guest, she throws their belongings higglety-pigglety. No word on whether Mrs. Wilson exploded Stephen King’s luggage or not, but Scary Mary did have this tidbit to impart:

If you’re going to stay in Room 217, please, please be a married couple. If you’re not married, Mrs. Wilson will lie down between you.

But if you’re an unmarried couple who is into that sort of thing, then by all means, spend the night in Room 217.

I stress that our guide Scary Mary was not preaching against unmarried couples–she was just giving them a heads-up about Mrs. Wilson’s proclivities.

Copious Readers, don’t you think this is a definite case of unmarrieds having an advantage over marrieds? After all, the only reason anyone ever stays in Room 217 at the Stanley Hotel is to experience ghostliness, and it seems that people living in sin really rile Mrs. Wilson’s ectoplasm.  Of course, we might also have to refold our negligees multiple times, but that’s a small price to pay for a paranormal experience, or?

–Christina

Comments»

1. Lauri - April 8, 2009

Does Mrs. Wilson sleep with single people?

2. Special K - April 8, 2009

Isn’t it funny that when were pissed scared the presence of other people calm us? When facing fears, it is nice to have anyone face them with you…And perhaps, if you have a stronger bond with a person, that you’d experience a greater benefit.

3. Singlutionary - April 8, 2009

I’m curious to know if he sleeps with Single people? Does he have an opposition to same gender friends sharing a bed? How about homosexual couples? What if they’re married?

This ghost cracks me up.

Honestly, though, if you’re going to see a ghost its ideal to have someone else see him too so that you know it wasn’t just your imagination! I would be satisfied if it was just me and my dog in there with the ghost.

onely - April 9, 2009

All, I did not have the presence of mind to enquire (or inquire?) about Mrs. Wilson’s tastes toward other relationships. I’d have to say that unlike Singlutionary, I would NOT stay in the room by myself (dog or no!), because I am a big chicken. I wonder why it’s less scary to face ghosts with someone else. I don’t care if Mrs Wilson lies down with single people or not, I still wouldn’t want to be alone in the room.
CC

4. Singlutionary - April 9, 2009

Oh. Its a MRS Wilson. I don’t know how I missed the ghost’s gender. In that case, I might be more reluctant to meet her alone. Old ladies can be MEAN. I thought it was funny/pervy for the old Mr. Wilson to sleep between the unmarried folks. I guess it wouldn’t be any different for Mrs. Wilson but I’ve had a finger wagged at me by enough old women already!

5. Colorado (Accidentally) Passes Pro-Single Law « Onely: Single and Happy - April 27, 2009

[...] Colorado (Accidentally) Passes Pro-Single Law April 27, 2009 Posted by onely in Heteronormativity, We like. . ., single and happy. Tags: Beyond Straight and Gay Marriage, colorado law, designated beneficiary, law supporting singles, Nancy Polikoff, redefining family trackback Colorado: more than just heteronormative ghosts! [...]


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