Comments on: The Sex Post, Part Deux: Dealbreakers

By: Hooking Up: Cool or CREAPy? « Onely: Single and Happy

Hooking Up: Cool or CREAPy? « Onely: Single and Happy — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 12:04:08 +0000

[...] follow-up to Lisa’s sex posts here and here, my friend Nicole flagged for us this really good article from NPR about the relatively new and [...]

By: onely

onely — Fri, 29 May 2009 13:52:05 +0000

Special K, this is a good question. Looking back on my list, I suppose that these could all easily also be dealbreakers for relationships. But when I wrote the list, the emphasis in my mind was on the fact that casual sex was central — in my experience (I haven’t had THAT much experience, but I have had some), a lot of these basics are thrown out the window b/c my partner suddenly thinks basic “good” behavior suddenly don’t matter if (or because) it’s “just sex.”

I, too, am pretty analytical, but since becoming comfortable with being single (and actually wanting it as my life), I have begun challenging myself to learn how not to take sex/dating so seriously. When I do, I tend to become really miserable.

– L

By: Sex, So What? « Onely: Single and Happy

Sex, So What? « Onely: Single and Happy — Fri, 29 May 2009 12:04:26 +0000

[...] indifferent celibacy, involuntary celibacy, voluntary celibacy trackback On the heels of Lisa’s dealbreakers post that talked about Involuntary Celibacy (a term that we may define differently than others do), we [...]

By: Onely

Onely — Thu, 28 May 2009 21:16:32 +0000

Lisa! You mention long fingernails. That reminded me of my Super DealBreaker Number 3.1F: LONG TOENAILS. Oh, I think long toenails are the nastiest thing ever, on men *or* women. I would kick Brad PItt out of my bed if I saw he had long toenails (manicured or otherwise).
love,
Christina from MICHIGAN

By: Singlutionary

Singlutionary — Thu, 28 May 2009 04:27:49 +0000

OK. I love farting so that is NOT a deal breaker for me!

Sigh. I feel like I am in the same boat as far as sex goes. Right now the deal breaker is huge: Its just not worth it for me to expend so much of my energy (both physical and psychic) on someone that I’m not sure is worth it.

There are lots of people I meet and within 30 seconds I KNOW they aren’t worth it.

And at this point in time, I am conserving a lot of my energy, charging my batteries, etc. So I am not a very social person these days anyways.

In order for this casual sex thing to work for me at this point in my life, it would have to be with someone I know and trust. Either a friend or an old lover (where we are both very clear that the relationship part is totally behind us).

I would love to master the friends-with-benefits relationship. I saw a post from a divorced guy on craigslist. He has kids and is committed to them so he realizes that he isn’t “boyfriend material” but misses cuddling and sex and intimacy. I could go for that. Next week. When I finish up the 30 projects which are consuming my every moment.

Maybe I am just too self centered for sex. I can’t be bothered to get laid because I am too busy stimulating myself. I hope not because I think that sex is a super cool thing with the right person. But right now, I might just be too wrapped up in myself.