Friendshit June 17, 2009Posted by Onely in As If!, Look What Google Barfed Up.
Tags: cnn.com, single girl friendship, single women, singlism, weddings
There are two strains of singlism: Type A, where the singlist actively disses single people, and Type B, where the singlist doesn’t even know they are commiting an “ism”. This CNN.com blog post, by a woman who mourns the inevitable death of her single-girl friendships now that she’s coupled, falls into the latter category. Yet somehow the author’s naivete doesn’t make the article any less horrifying–in fact, I would argue that her post is all the more horrifying because the assumptions she makes about single vs. coupled people are so insidious and (to her) unquestionable. She says she’s getting married a couple months, and:
. . . the days of “romancing” my friends — of luxuriating in their company all weekend long and most weekday evenings is (SIC) over. Given the choice — which, thankfully, I have now that my relationship is not a long-distance one — I’d rather spend most of my free time with my fiance.
And soon that fiance will be my husband, and one day he’ll be the father of my children, and as we continue building a life and home together, I’ll have even less time to devote to other relationships.
I still plan to maintain my own friendships, of course, bonds I hope will help guide me through various transitions my life is bound to make, but I’d be fooling myself if I thought those friendships could ever be like the ones I made when I was single.
. . .It’s a romance, really, that only fully blooms in the absence of a romantic relationship. It’s a romance I’d never trade my fiance for, but a romance I think part of me will always yearn for just a little bit. . .
She praises single-people friendships to the moon and back “Life was filled with wine-drenched, late-night talks, long bike rides along the lake, picnics in the park, afternoon shopping frenzies, potlucks, brunches, and impromptu sleep-overs — all with my single friends”, but she always makes sure to point out that her relationship with her fiance is better, is worth giving up her single girlfriends for, is the right “choice”.
But it’s a relationship, not an abortion! For goodness’ sake .
Copious Readers, why does she assume she has to give up that kind of friendship with her former friends? Why does it have to be one or the other? And honestly, if you were friends with this woman, wouldn’t you be secretly relieved that she dissed you for her fiance? Because I have to agree with Sarah, who commented on the article saying, “This chick sounds like a succubus to me.” Check out the other comments on the site to experience The Attack of The Sensible People.