Enhance Your Life–10 Ways if You’re Coupled, 7 if You’re Single November 2, 2010Posted by Onely in As If!.
Tags: Barry Goldsmith, couples more important, emotional fitness, Psychology Today, singlism
Here are 10 things you can do to enhance your life–if you’re coupled. If you’re single, you can only enhance your life 70 percent as much as a coupled person. This is according to a life-enhancement-activity list on Barton Goldsmith’s “Emotional Fitness” blog on Psychology Today, where three of the ten items require a conventional romantic partner.
In order to take the life-enhancing step of watching a sunset, you have to do it with a “mate” (and not the Australian kind). God forbid you should watch it by yourself or with a friend, ewwwww:
2. Spend a little while watching the sunset with your mate. Nothing extra is necessary. Just sit and take in the natural beauty of the sky and appreciate being able to share it with the one you love.
And if you want to write a thank-you note, it has to be to a mate. So your coworker Heimliched you at lunch when you were choking on that brussels sprout? First, thank your mate for picking his underwear out of the ficus this morning:
4. Write a thank you note to your mate. When was the last time you thanked your partner for just being who he or she is and being with you? Doing this in writing will give your partner something to cherish for the rest of his or her life.
And if you want to go to bed ten minutes early, you have to do it with a mate:
8. Go to bed with the one you love ten minutes earlier than usual. Then spend that time just holding each other. Let the feeling of warmth from your mate move through you.
(And enough with the word “mate”. What are we, lab rats? Walruses?)
Yes, Goldsmith appears astoundingly sloppy for a PhD psychotherapist who wrote a book about–get ready for it–100 Ways To Boost Your Self-Confidence. (Let me take a guess–Number 23: Get a Mate?)
But four out of ten commenters don’t need his silly book. They came right out and told him that they liked to watch sunsets by themselves just fine, thank you. And here’s the thing–they were actually nice about it. Way nicer than I’m being. Here’s an example:
Well pleased to see that I regularly do seven out of ten of ten and until I meet that special someone (and I’m looking), I’m quiet happy to watch sunsets as one, write me little thank you notes and go to bed ten minutes early for a bit of cuddling heheh. Get yourself into a bit of trouble too – live a little. Look at life from the wolf’s perspective now and again. Good luck. -happychappy
I am a little concerned that other commenters (six of them) *didn’t* seem to notice the shortsightedness of items 2, 4, and 8. That just shows how deeply imbedded the mate-as-life-enhancement-tool trope is. So in yet another effort to offset that trope, Onely has rewritten Goldsmith’s problematic suggestions so that single people can get just as much Life Enhancement as couples (you’re welcome, singlies!):
Spend a little while watching the sunset. Nothing extra is necessary. Just sit and take in the natural beauty of the sky and appreciate being able to share it with yourself or with whomever you f&cking please.
Write a thank you note. When was the last time you thanked someone for just being who he or she is? Doing this in writing will give that person something to cherish for the rest of his or her life. And if you want, go ahead and write a letter to yourself. Mail it, too. (And stick a twenty in there while you’re at it.)
Go to bed ten minutes earlier than usual. Then spend that time just holding your ferret/watching the headlights on the ceiling/reading graphic novels/eating toast/breathing/planning your next novel. Let the feeling of warmth from doing what you enjoy move through you.
Photo credit: eir@si