Dreaming an Impossible Dream: Marriage January 16, 2012Posted by Onely in Everyday Happenings, Food for Thought, Heteronormativity, Your Responses Requested!.
Tags: anti-Onely psyche, dream interpretation, marriage dreams, married and unhappy
But what’s going on when a Oneler literally has a dream about getting married?
I’m not sure, but I can say this: It’s unsettling… Just over a week ago, I woke up at 4am remembering that I’d almost gotten married; as I put the strange pieces together and recalled the emotions I felt during the dream, I worried: did my psyche just make me a traitor to my Oneliness?
Here’s what happened: I was minding my own business, hanging out with a man of slight proportions (he was short and slim, and otherwise generally unattractive to me), when all of a sudden… I was preparing to get married! The man disappeared, and I headed to the ceremony: I was wearing cut-off jean shorts and a pink tank-top. I remember feeling a little embarrassed but thought it wouldn’t matter much. I arrived at the ceremony, and found that it was to be held in the lobby of a cheap-looking hotel — the surroundings reminded me of a ’50s-era Howard Johnson motel (something like this). In one corner of the lobby, a group of men in business attire huddled together, ignoring the small group of people waiting for me. Everyone (except for the men in business suits) was sitting on the floor. The man I had been with before materialized and was also on the floor (kneeling instead of sitting). I was expected to kneel too. As I made my way to my “position” in front of everyone, I remember feeling very uncomfortable – all eyes were on me and I didn’t feel “beautiful” or “happy.” Honestly, I didn’t feel much of anything (except discomfort). I certainly didn’t want to be married, but I didn’t feel I could resist, either. So I was prepared to go through with it, with a man whom I didn’t find particularly attractive or engaging. And then it turned out that my betrothed had neglected to write his vows, and it turned out I was about to marry a lazy unattractive idiot, which added to my general embarrassment, and then…
I woke up. And thank god for that, because – holy shit! – I almost got married
Perhaps it was the jetlag (I just returned from the U.S.), but I find it significant that I couldn’t fall asleep after that. I just kept replaying the dream in my mind, wondering where in the world it had come from, how I could possibly have given in to the “dream” of marriage – especially when I didn’t want it, didn’t like my future spouse, and wasn’t even dressed appropriately!
Copious Readers, I hope you can help me interpret this: What does it mean when a Oneler dreams about marriage?
photo credit: Varia