The Sticky Film of Seekingness August 19, 2012Posted by Onely in Dating, Food for Thought.
Tags: making friends, Rotating Profiles, singles blog, Singles dinner
Rotating Profiles Dinner: If you are interested in people and people’s stories, this is the best event ever! If you want to make more friends, this is the best event ever! If you want to stretch your paradigms and get ideas for the characters in your next novel, this is the best event ever! I read about it in an email from one of my DC events list serves, and I got very excited.
By now you’ve guessed that there’s a “But. . .” coming.
First, here’s what happens at the Rotating Profiles Dinner:
You fill out a questionnaire about your life ahead of time. Then the night of the event, the organizers you sit you at a table with a bunch of people whose interests match yours, and you all eat Mongolian Barbeque for dinner. (That alone puts the gathering in the running for Best Event Ever.)
THEN for dessert you sit at another table, with people whose questionnaires indicated they would be completely different from you. Such as, I imagine, because I like tabby kittens I would be seated at a table with a few Rottweiler owners. How fascinating! I have never met a Rottweiler owner. I need to meet a Rottweiler owner to dismantle my prejudiced view of them (which involves, for complicated reasons, bug-eyes and empty pizza boxes). I would love to talk to a Rottweiler owner.
BUT I am not particularly interested in dating a Rottweiler owner. Or the owner of anything (except maybe a beach house in Hawaii). Yet the expectation is that in order to attend the Rotating Profiles event I have to be single “and seeking”. I have to want to find a date, or a boyfriend. And that stinks.
It’s no fun–or at least a lot less fun–for me to talk with interesting people when all across the gathering there’s a sticky film of datable/not-datable? coating everyone’s eyes and bodies and voices, like spiderwebs. If you want the film, fine. If you tolerate the film because you want to break through it and grab a significant other, fine. But I don’t want the film at all, at least not now. I do, however, want to talk with a Rottweiler owner.
So where are the Rotating Profiles dinners for just ordinary people regardless of dating status?
I stared at the email for a while. I wondered who would be at my dessert table. Was this my chance to meet my Exact Opposite? Who would he be? I pictured the Rottweiler Owner in my head: a muscled triathlete who loves cooking, B.A.S.E. jumping, and baby corn. I wanted to attend the event just to see him, this Exact Opposite of mine, in the same way people want to go to the Muetter Museum to see the giant colon.
Copious Readers, would you have attended this event? (We’re imaging for the moment that you, like me, are single and non-seeking, or single and not-particularly-seeking.) Or would you find the film of “seeking” too annoying or distracting?
Another question: Is it even fair for me to attend the event, if I have no direct intention of using it as a dating mechanism?
P.S. All these lofty questions became moot when I remembered that I had a haircut scheduled the evening of the event. My hairdresser is brilliant and backed up until the Apocalypse, so you don’t cancel appointments.
Photo credit: Bruce Briscoe