The Wife Date December 9, 2012Posted by Onely in Bad Onely Activities, Dating, Heteronormativity.
Tags: (not) looking for a wife, dating checklists, dating for fun, single and happy
As our Copious Readers know (but as we often have to clarify to our not-so-Copious Readers and Friends), Christina and I are not against coupling per se. We’re against the privileges associated with coupling, especially when they are unequal to the privileges provided for singles.
Why am I giving you this caveat? Because I went on a date recently. And I didn’t want anyone to think that, by going on a date, I was not being Onely. We believe it’s possible to be Onely and have a love life too.
That being said, I have something to say about the date, which I am heretofore nicknaming The Wife Date. Perhaps by the nickname you can guess how I felt about it. But in case you can’t, let me explain:
Have you ever gone on a date where the conversation consisted of a series of generic questions, rather than from finding mutual experiences or interests in common?
Have you ever gone on a date where the date asked you outright, “What do you look for in a man?” And after you awkwardly make up some generic criteria on the spot (ummm, a penis?), did he then tell you – without you asking – what he looks for in a woman? How did you feel about that?
Have you ever gone on a date where you felt like you were being measured against your date’s mental Checklist?
Have you ever realized, in the middle of the date, that because you are open to being asked a lot of generic questions, and because you will answer them honestly, and because you are generally a cool person with a lot of interesting things to say and stories to tell, you are inadvertently meeting your date’s Checklist and making him very happy?
Have you ever had the feeling that you were just out to have a good time, and your date was out to find a wife?
Have you ever worried that after only one date, your date has you tagged as “The One”?
That happened to me. I just turned down Date #2. Because – god forbid – he might have proposed!
And because we never deviated from the Checklist, I didn’t get the chance to tell him about Onely.