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Great Onelies in Real Time: Wang GuiYing January 13, 2009

Posted by Onely in As If!, Great Onelies in Real Time, Heteronormativity.
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A Chinese woman has decided to become unsingle after 107 years of Oneliness

She didn’t marry because she was afraid of marriage. When we are tempted to glorify the long, historic tradition of man-woman matrimony and disparage those of us who, for whatever reasons, are not participating in it, let’s also take a moment to listen to Wang Gui Ying’s story (Reuters cites the ChongQing Commercial Times): 

Born in southern Guizhou province the child of a salt merchant, Wang grew up watching her uncles and other men scold and beat their wives and often found her aunt crying in the woodshed after an attack, the paper said.

“All the married people around there lived like that. Getting married was too frightening,” she said of an era when Chinese women had few rights and low social standing.

For me, Wang Guiying makes an interesting contrast to the many people nowadays (at least in the west) who marry because they are afraid of being single (I know, I know, not everyone–but lots!).  Wang kept the family farm going until she was 74. Now that she’s finally beginning to slow down, she’s worried about being a burden to her nieces and nephews. (more…)

Spurrious Rhetoric, continued January 3, 2009

Posted by Onely in Uncategorized.
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As a follow-up to my below Spurrious Rhetoric post, I feel compelled to acknowledge that buried in Dr. Pam Spurr’s singlist article is this one conciliatory, cover-your-ass sentence fragment: “Although, granted, there are some truly happy single women, the majority. . . ”  

But at the beginning of her post she says she doesn’t believe that “any” single women are happy. So which is it? (more…)

The Spurrious Rhetoric of Singlism January 2, 2009

Posted by Onely in As If!, Food for Thought, Heteronormativity.
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10 comments

This great article by Abby O’Reilly talks about  old-school stereotypes against single women. O’Reilly critiques some interesting rhetoric by Dr. Pam Spurr, “alleged sex and relationship expert at the Daily Mail” and, frighteningly, a life coach. (I forget which blog originally led me to the O’Reilly post, but whoever you were, thanks!)

Spurr espouses the notion, so prevalent in singlist society, that if you say you are single and happy–you’re lying.  She bases this grandiose generalization on the “thousands” of single people she has life-coached.

She doesn’t seem to realize that her data set is inherently skewed, because usually only people unhappy with their relationship status would approach Spurr about the issue in the first place; what about the thousands–or millions–of happy singles who never use Spurr’s services? Or worse, what if a happy single were to go to Spurr about a different life issue and in the course of discussion happen to mention she was single, and Spurr were to hit her with this, from Spurr’s article in the Daily Mail: (more…)

Spurrious Rhetoric, continued January 1, 2008

Posted by Onely in As If!.
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3 comments

As a follow-up to my Spurrious Rhetoric post, I feel compelled to acknowledge that buried in Dr. Pam Spurr’s singlist article is this one conciliatory, cover-your-ass sentence fragment: “Although, granted, there are some truly happy single women, the majority. . . ”  

But at the beginning of her post she says she doesn’t believe that “any” single women are happy. So which is it? (more…)

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