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Day Seven (Finale!): National Unmarried and Single Americans Week September 25, 2010

Posted by Onely in Guest Bloggers, Guest Posts, single and happy, Singles Resource, Your Responses Requested!.
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So what did you do today to celebrate National Unmarried and Single Americans Week? Lisa and Christina both spent some time reframing personal goals so we don’t get overwhelmed or needlessly critical of ourselves. We’re sure you’re up to similar good things and we want to hear about it — so please let us know in the comments below!

We hope you’ll visit the seventh and FINAL stop on the second annual Blog Crawl for NUSA Week: Dr. Bella DePaulo of Living Single on Psychology Today posts on the Alternatives to Marriage Project!

Thanks to Single Women Rule for organizing the crawl, and to sponsors Cheek’d and Luscious Lifestyle for supporting it!

– Lisa and Christina

Day Four: National Unmarried and Single Americans Week September 22, 2010

Posted by Onely in Guest Bloggers, Guest Posts, single and happy, Singles Resource, Your Responses Requested!.
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2 comments

So what did you do today to celebrate National Unmarried and Single Americans Week? We discovered some new pro-singles blogs that we’ll be bringing to your attention over the next couple of weeks. We’re sure you’re up to similar good things and we want to hear about it — so please let us know in the comments below!

We hope you’ll visit the fourth stop on the second annual Blog Crawl for NUSA Week: Christina and Lisa of Onely (hey, that’s us!) post on Bella DePaulo’s Living Single series on Psychology Today!

We’ll be linking to our fellow singles-savvy bloggers throughout the week. Check back here for the latest links.

– Lisa and Christina

Pioneering Singles’ Advocate Dr. Bella DePaulo BlogCrawls onto Onely! September 26, 2009

Posted by Onely in Food for Thought, Guest Bloggers, Guest Posts, Singled Out.
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23 comments

Happy Last Day of National Singles’ Week!!

final Singled Out TP coverYes, it’s the end of Unmarried and Single Americans Week, but don’t be sad! We’re going out with a bang! Today singles’ advocate extraordinaire Dr. Bella DePaulo relates some personal watershed moments when she realized she didn’t have to find a “Sex and Everything Else Partner” if she didn’t feel like it. One reason Onely hearts Bella is because she has coined some fabulous terms to describe the lopsided treatment of singles in society, including singlism (discrimination and prejudice against single people), matrimania (the myth of marriage as a cure for personal and social ills), and the much underused SEEPie.

How I Discovered that Living Single Was My True Happily Ever After

by Bella DePaulo

In seventh grade, on a break from class, best friends Maureen and Linda took turns walking slowly and deliberately, hands clasped at their waists. They were practicing the walk down the aisle. They also compared notes on their wedding dresses, the bridesmaids’ dresses, and who those bridesmaids would be. No, they were not getting married at age 12 – they were just fantasizing.

Even as a 7th grader, I found this strange. I just didn’t see the appeal of planning, or even thinking about a wedding. Turns out, I never would.

I have always lived single, and never yearned to live any other way. For a long time, though, I was puzzled by the disconnect between the way I liked to live, and the kind of life so many others seemed to wish for, and expected me to wish for, too.

I tried out several solutions to this. I had a bug hypothesis for a while – marriage was a bug, and I just hadn’t caught it yet. Eventually, it would get me. (Looking back, I’m now bemused that I did believe in a disease model all along – but the disease was marriage, not singlehood.) Then I tried out the long-distance version of the longing – maybe I’d like it if I had a long-distance relationship. That way, I could have my time and space to myself all week, and have a partner for the weekends. I thought about it, but I never felt it.

I don’t think there was a specific moment when I realized: I LIKE living single. This is who I am. It is not going to change.

To get to that point, I think I had to understand a bigger point – it is fine (good, even) to live the life that is most meaningful to you, even if your way is not the most conventional one. (more…)

Singles’ Crawl: Laura Dave on Living Single Blog September 25, 2009

Posted by Onely in Guest Bloggers, single and happy, Singles Resource, Some Like It Single.
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Happy National Singles’ Week!!

We’re celebrating with a blog crawl!

Although the myriad views of singlehood expressed by participants in this blog crawl do not necessarily reflect Onely’s specific approach to singles’ advocacy, we are happy for the chance to celebrate Unmarried Single Americans Week by participating in this dialog of diverse voices in the discussion of singles’ rights, single living, and single sundries.

Guess what — we’re nearing the end — it’s Day 6, and we want YOU to visit Living Single, where novelist Laura Dave (The Divorce Party) tells us how she feels about the single life.

(p.s. — don’t forget to come back tomorrow, where Dr. Bella DePaulo has something to say, right here on Onely!)

Better than a Pub Crawl: National Singles’ Week Blog Crawl! September 18, 2009

Posted by Onely in Guest Bloggers, Guest Posts, single and happy, Singles Resource, Some Like It Single.
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5 comments

Happy National Singles’ Week!!

To celebrate, we’re thrilled to be participating in a first-ever blog crawl! For the next six days, when you hit us here, we’ll redirect you elsewhere (details below). And next Saturday, September 26th, to conclude the crawl, we’ll be hosting Singles-Advocate Extraordinaire, Dr. Bella DePaulo here at Onely!

So, Copious Readers: Pull up a chair, pour a glass of wine, and let’s get our READ on!

***

Join millions of people as they crawl the web’s most popular blogs for singles, during the first SingleWomenRule.com’s Blog Crawl for National Singles Week. In the virtual world, a blog crawl works like a pub crawl, or museum crawl in the real world; each day, you’ll visit a designated blog to read featured blog posts from our favorite voices in the singles community.

“The Blog Crawl is an excellent example of the strength and connectivity of the online singles community,” said Terry Hernon MacDonald of SingleWomenRule.com.  Hernon MacDonald, author of the e-book, How to Attract and Marry the Man of Your Dreams, co-founded SingleWomenRule.com last August.

Featured guest bloggers include Dr. Bella DePaulo, notable psychologist and author of Singled Out: How Singles Are Stereotyped, Stigmatized, and Ignored, and Still Live Happily Ever After; author of the novel The Divorce Party, Laura Dave; dating/relationship writer and author of The Real Reasons Men Commit, Kimberly Dawn Neumann, writer Simone Grant of Sex, Lies and Dating, dating coach Ronnie Ann Ryan of NeverTooLate.biz, and Maryanne Comaroto, author of Hindsight: What You Need to Know Before You Drop Your Drawers.

“We hand-picked the guest bloggers and host blogs for their tenacious spirit and voice,” said Hernon MacDonald.  “Guiding readers from blog to blog in a crawl helps each blog build their readership, while bringing a fresh perspective and new audience via the guest bloggers, each day.” (more…)

“Dear Quirkyalone”: Send Us Your Questions, Confusions, Complaints! July 13, 2009

Posted by Onely in quirkyalone, single and happy, Singles Resource, Your Responses Requested!.
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4 comments

As we mentioned last week, Christina and I are going to be writing a weekly advice column for Quirkyalone, called “Dear Quirkyalone: All you ever wanted to know about quirkyliving, but were(n’t) afraid to ask.” Our first post will be published next Monday (cross-posted here and at QA), but we need your questions! If you’ve got questions about what it means to live Onely/Quirkyalone — or if you want advice about how to handle a tricky situation, please email us: onely [at] onely [dot] org.

And as an extra incentive, Sasha Cagen over at QA is giving away one free SIGNED copy of her book, Quirkyalone, to one lucky reader (drawn at random) who submits a question to us and leaves a comment here by/before Thursday, July 16th!

– L & CC

Are Onelies Just in Denial? Dick comments. August 21, 2008

Posted by Onely in As If!, Food for Thought, Singled Out.
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1 comment so far
In a spectacular display of nominative determinism, reader Dick made the following comments on social psychologist Bella DePaulo’s Living Single blog: 
Submitted by Dick on May 4, 2008 – 7:54pm.

You seem to spend an inordinate amount of time worrying about the ‘stigma’ of being single. Could it be that you are repressing your desire to connect with someone? I can hardly believe that single people are so repressed. Just another ‘ism’ to distract people from real problems.

What interested me most about this post was “Could it be that you are repressing your desire to connect with someone?” 

(more…)

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