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Secret Lives of the Happily Single: Parents’ Edition October 19, 2009

Posted by Onely in Bad Onely Activities, Great Onely Activities, Secret Lives of the Happily Single.
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2 comments

Welcome to the latest installment in our SLOTHS series, where we explore the Secret Lives of the Happily Single and celebrate their enlightened idiosynchrasies! 

Lisa and I write a lot about the specific instances in our daily lives when we are grateful to be single. Often a banal moment such as not having to rinse out the laundry detergent lid will trigger a flood of endorphins. I get almost weepy with happiness at night when it’s time to go upstairs to my cozy peach-and-blue bedroom for my nighttime wind-down. I love sitting on my full bed and futzing around with my novel, or tearing articles out of New Scientist, or doing forward bends, without someone scurrying around in my periphery.

But what if I were a single parent? I’d have a small scurrier around all the time. Lots of the things I like about being single now–having my quiet time, eating whenever and whatever I want, sleeping from 2 am to 11 am on Saturdays, watching Corey Feldman dance on YouTube–are impossible or irresponsible if you have kids. Yet I’m sure that there are Onely parents out there, and they must have their own beloved SLOTHSy habits that they would miss if they ever coupled up. 

I’ve been trying to think which of my SLOTHSy proclivities I would be able to keep if I had kids. I suppose it depends on their age, whether they’re in school, how many hours I have to work, and so forth. But no matter what, I’d still have to do laundry, and I’d still rejoice at not having to rinse out the detergent bottle cap. I’d also like not having someone else to tell me how to raise my child (“Are you crazy? Don’t let them watch that Corey Feldman video!”). 

Copious Readers, if you are a single parent, we want to hear from you what you like about being single and a parent. And if you have things you don’t like about being single and a parent, we want to hear those, too. 

–Christina

P.S. How adorable is this baby sloth picture I found? Check out Kirsten Hubbard’s Wandergirl blog, where every week she posts a picture of a baby animal!

Onely Fights Office Singlism! Kind of! July 15, 2009

Posted by Onely in As If!, Everyday Happenings, Heteronormativity, Just Saying., Secret Lives of the Happily Single, single and happy.
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23 comments

I forget the context of our conversation, but at one point my coworker mentioned that single people don’t have any responsibilities. Now, before you send out the tar-and-feathering mob, loyal Copious Readers, let me say that this is one of my favorite coworkers and he has a knack for making out-of-place, over-the-top generalizations. But still, I felt the need to correct his statement.

“Single have responsibilities!” I said. “I have a mortage. And. . . and. . . a cat.” I winced. The C word seldom helps in a singles advocacy argument. But in the moment, I couldn’t think of any other responsibilities! Because to be honest, I am so enamoured of my independence that the feeling of freedom sometimes overshadows my to-do list. But Lisa rattled off  my responsibilities to me later, in an email. She said we have “pretty much the same responsibilities as everyone else!” But for once I disagree with my intrepid co-blogger. (more…)

You Might Be A Heteronormahole If. . . July 1, 2009

Posted by Onely in Food for Thought, Heteronormativity, Just Saying..
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15 comments

As our Copious Readers know, Onely invented the term “heteronormahole,” but we’ve never defined it — until now. So, in case you’re worried we’re talking about you (hint: if you’re reading this blog, this possibility is HIGHLY UNLIKELY), here’s a list to help you sort it out.

You Might Be a Heteronormahole If:

1. The first question you ask a person you haven’t talked to in some time is, “So, are you seeing anyone?” (you also might be a heteronormahole if this is the second question you ask).

2. You’re a waiter and you scowl when a one-top walks in. (more…)

Onely Props: Being Single with Kids September 2, 2008

Posted by Onely in Food for Thought, We like. . ..
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2 comments

Regular reader/commenter Shannon wrote a really interesting post on her blog, A Beautiful Dream, about being a single parent recently — a perspective that Christina and I aren’t able to represent and so must give “props” to when we see posts like this. She describes the challenge of being single when her son gets sick and the further challenges/complications she anticipates when she will give birth to a second child, a daughter, in the next few months. Here’s a teaser for what she has to say: (more…)

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