Onely.Org

Let’s Get This Over With As Quickly As Possible Day June 26, 2008

My sister renamed Valentine’s day to “Let’s Get This Over With As Quickly As Possible Day”. (This is 50 percent my blog, so I can put the periods outside the quotes if I want.) Although many single people loathe LGTOWAQAP Day, once they become part of a couple, they usually commence with celebrating the previously vile holiday. But does doing this indicate acceptance of the idea that coupling up is an improvement, and, by extension, devalue one’s past single self? My officemate (male, married ten years) and I had a heated debate about this when I told him that in my last relationship, I chose to boycott Valentine’s day and insisted my boyfriend do the same: no flowers, no card, no phone call saying the dreaded three words, no dinner, no love gestures beyond the ordinary. My boyfriend was only too happy to comply. My officemate, however, thought my little boycott ridiculous. I should celebrate love, he said, *that’s* what Valentine’s day was for–an excuse and a reminder to honor the people we care about, not an effort to guilt and humiliate singletons. If this is true, then when I boycotted V-day was I really just acting defensive instead of empowering the memory of my single self? Was I saying that my single self had been so weak, she needed to be protected so much that I couldn’t even enjoy the addition of extra love in my life? Would I have better honored the legacy of my single self if I had embraced V-day with my boyfriend instead of calling attention to single-stigma by boycotting the holiday?

Maybe what we need is a holiday celebrating oneliness. I’m sure someone has created one, but it obviously hasn’t caught on yet.  In the meantime, my sister solved the issue by creating her own LGTOWAQAP Day ritual. In the month preceding The Day, every couple days she acquires a little treat for herself, like lip gloss or divining cards, wraps it up, and puts it in a little basket behind a couch or under a table. Then on the morning of February 14th, she finds the basket and opens each trinket with surprise and a bashful, pleased smile that someone cared so much about her to assemble it. 

-CC