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What’s in Your Bed? September 11, 2009

Posted by Onely in Just Saying..
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I read somewhere that if you’re single, you should always sleep in the middle of the bed. This is good feng shui because it represents that you’re complete in yourself. By sleeping in the middle of the bed, you distract the universe from the pooling vortex of singlehood angst and thwarted couplehood that an empty half of the bed attracts (and God help you if you sleep next to an unused pillow).

So I sometimes feel guilty for sleeping on the side of my bed, as if I am not an enlightened single.

I have three beds: single, full, and a king-sized.  If I sleep in the middle of the full one, how am I supposed to reach the nightstand light? If I sleep in the middle of the king, then getting up in the darl to pee becomes like a fouled-up arctic expedition as I stumble on all fours over lumps of chilled comforter wondering, “Which way is the bathroom?”

But I manage to fool the universe and quiet the vortex by filling that empty space beside me with other things. At various times, and sometimes simultaneously, I have had in my bed the following pleasure items (yeah, all you readers who found this blog via searches for “nut sucking” wish it were going to be that kind of post): (more…)

The Spurrious Rhetoric of Singlism January 2, 2009

Posted by Onely in As If!, Food for Thought, Heteronormativity.
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This great article by Abby O’Reilly talks about  old-school stereotypes against single women. O’Reilly critiques some interesting rhetoric by Dr. Pam Spurr, “alleged sex and relationship expert at the Daily Mail” and, frighteningly, a life coach. (I forget which blog originally led me to the O’Reilly post, but whoever you were, thanks!)

Spurr espouses the notion, so prevalent in singlist society, that if you say you are single and happy–you’re lying.  She bases this grandiose generalization on the “thousands” of single people she has life-coached.

She doesn’t seem to realize that her data set is inherently skewed, because usually only people unhappy with their relationship status would approach Spurr about the issue in the first place; what about the thousands–or millions–of happy singles who never use Spurr’s services? Or worse, what if a happy single were to go to Spurr about a different life issue and in the course of discussion happen to mention she was single, and Spurr were to hit her with this, from Spurr’s article in the Daily Mail: (more…)

The Onely Gene? September 15, 2008

Posted by Onely in Food for Thought.
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According to this New Scientist article by Priya Shetty, there may be a Monogamy Gene. This got me thinking, could there be a Onely Gene? Is the Monogamy Gene related to the Onely Gene? Copious Readership, what do you think?

First we need to understand the Monogamy Gene: (more…)

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