Nuts and the City: or, Porn and the Single Surfer March 9, 2009
Posted by Onely in As If!, Bad Onely Activities, Food for Thought, Great Onely Activities, Look What Google Barfed Up, Secret Lives of the Happily Single.Tags: cashews, confused men, foot binding, google, happily single, nut sucking, pornography, sexual stereotypes of singles
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Have you ever been happily blogging away, without a care in the world, and then accidentally created pornography? This happened to me. When Onely was a younger blog, I wrote my post about how, in my secret life as a happily single person, I like to suck the salt off of nuts and then put them back in the can. In my naivete, I coined the term nut-sucking as an abbreviation for this hobby.
Soon Lisa, who was monitoring our blog stats, discovered that in addition to people finding us by searching for “rant single people marriage”; “single and happy”; “retort when are you getting married”; “how to stop wanting to be married”; and (my favorite) “when men are confused”; readers also were finding us through searches for “nut sucking” and charming variants, such as “women sucking men’s nuts.”
In my opinion, porn is one of men’s cruelest creations, up there with foot binding and feathered bangs. It degrades and objectifies women by marketing standards of beauty and sexuality that are at best unattainable (airbrushed butts) and at worst misogynistic (shackled naked women). However, I tried to look at my accidental porn post as a chance to expand our reader community. I wondered whether these people looking for nut-sucking on the Internet would come across Onely, feel misled and irritated, and rush on to a more, um, “visually gratifying” site. Or would they stop and read about salty cashews and the single life? I guess this depends on whether porn-seekers are more likely to be single.
Is the typical porn user a single man? Particularly one living in his mother’s basement? No. I don’t think singles view porn more than coupled people. I’ve known some of my coupled girlfriends to complain that their signifcant-man-others are into porn, as opposed to being into them.
Singles are often portrayed either as sexually deprived (hence the “into porn” stereotype, at least for men), or as sexually loose–and sometimes they are even seen as both (in a miraculous feat of quantum stereotyping).
I think the whole conundrum is best expressed by a Famous Web Search Engine: when I typed in “Onely and nut sucking” into the FWSE, it asked me, “Did you mean: lonely and nutsucking?” No, dangit, no!
Copious Readers, we challenge you to speak more eloquently on the subject than Google! What do you think about porn and singlehood?
–CC
Onely.Org 
Nut sucking? hahaha love it. Although this is the first time hearing about it. Let me ask, why put them back in the can?
I think by design men are equal about porn. Single men may have more opportunity to view porn, but given the same opportunity I think all men are created equal on this. Men are visual creatures whether single or not.
I don’t know if it’s a new idea or not, but I wonder if websites/blogs can block themselves from porn searches?
Hmmm Bobby–that’s actually a really good question. I am not SURE why I put them back in the can. I guess so as not to be wasteful. Although once they have the salt sucked off, they’re pretty much not good for anything.
–Christina
I think that typically if a person (of any gender) watches porn as a single they will continue to do so as a coupled individual (even if their partner is unaware). There are a lot of couples who use porn. There are also a lot of women who use porn. I think it depends on what kind of porn we’re talking about. The individual who googled “women sucking men’s nuts”, well good luck to him. I honestly think he might be better off reading Onely than watching women suck men’s nuts online. He might learn something new and learn to enjoy his own nut-sucking in a whole new way wether he be single or coupled!
Good point Singlutionary, about there being different kinds of porn–I imagine there must be some kinds of porn out there that is done respectfully towards women etc. –CC
Hahaha! That’s so funny! Reminds me of my foot-in-the-mouth announcement when I first got to the US: I announced that I’d be taking a douche to my two male (!) housemates. You know, it’s “Dusche” in German; “la douche” in French, so I figured the English term would be “douche.” Sounds logical, right? The redness in the faces of my housemates indicated, though, that I had said something not quite appropriate. After I pressed them to please explain – for what seemed like an eternity – they pointed out that I really meant to take a shower. Okay, so why the red faces, I demanded. One of them reluctantly explained…
I am going to see if this study looked at marital status, though I’d suspect that most of the conservative porn users are married…
Rachel, yet ANOTHER reason for me to love New Scientist. Too bad the study didn’t mention marital status, but it was hilarious anyway–oh, Utah, Utah, Utah, you dirty dirty state! –CC
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