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Craigslist Killer Caught: When He Stereotyped Singles August 31, 2013

Posted by Onely in Food for Thought.
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1 comment so far

The long story is in this Atlantic article, but the short story is this:

Serial killer Richard Beasley targeted middle-class, unemployed, *unmarried* men. He lured them with a Craigslist ad where he asked for someone to manage a small, isolated ranch with some cattle for 300 dollars a week and free board. He made it sound like an easy, reliable way for a man (and it had to be a man) to earn some money and get a leg up in life, possibly after having been beat up a bit by fate (divorce, unemployment, etc).

However, he was actually planning to kill these single men because he wanted to steal their possessions and make some money by selling them. Applicants who didn’t intend to come to the ranch with a big trailer of large-screen TVs (or whatever) were turned away. His favorite applicants: single men. He figured no one would come looking for them.

He figured wrong.

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In Memoriam:

Ralph Geiger: Single. The killer (out of disrespect for the killer I will not use his name anymore) stole Geiger’s identity. Geiger is survived and remembered by his longtime daughter-like mentee Summer Rowley.

David Pauley:  Single. His best friend Chris and twin sister Deb notified the police, which helped them track down the killer.

Timothy Kern: Single. His sons Zack and Nick realized immediately that he had disappeared and notified authorities. By then, the killer was doomed.

Respect:

Scott Davis:  Single. He escaped the killer even after having a gun pointed at his face. Though unmarried, his mother was expecting him soon to come fix her house. His experience alerted the police to the killer’s existence.

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When the killer was seeking out single men, he was actually seeking out what might have been his toughest victims, the ones most dangerous to his mission.  Author Hanna Rosin describes this phenomenon:

As traditional family structures are falling apart for working-class men, many of them are forging new kinds of relationships: two old high-school friends who chat so many times a day. . .; a father who texts his almost-grown sons as he goes to bed at night and as he wakes up in the morning. . . When the old structures recede for men, they find ways to replace them with alternative attachments. . . these improvised families can prove *more* intense because they are formed under duress and, lacking a conventional domestic routine or recognized status, they must be constantly tended and reinforced.

Copious Readers – particularly our male readers – what do you think of this phenomenon? In what ways do you find yourself building these “alternative attachments”?

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Singlism? Feminism? What gives? (Part One) December 12, 2009

Posted by Onely in Academic Alert!, Food for Thought, Heteronormativity, quirkyalone, Your Responses Requested!.
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15 comments

A few days ago, Christina examined the surprisingly singlist and sexist publicity blurbs for two seemingly pro-single books. She notes that the blurbs “[remind] us of how tightly anti-feminism is woven into anti-singlehood rhetoric.” And it’s true: Onely is grounded, at its heart, in feminist values and beliefs specifically because of this connection.

As we explain on our “About Onely” page, we see the fight against singlism as a feminist project in the sense that we question the oppressive perspective that normalizes a particular (sexual-social) practice — coupling — at the expense of those who remain single. We believe that the same sexist (and heteronormative) perspective that fails to value multiple gender and sexual identities also fails to recognize those of us who prefer living alone to coupling.

But another thing strikes me as equally interesting about this linkage: I wonder if it’s a mere coincidence that Rosie the Riveter’s message above could apply as much to women as it could to singles. (more…)

Dear Quirkyalone: Where are all the Quirkyalone men? September 14, 2009

Posted by Onely in quirkyalone.
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6 comments

“Dear Quirkyalone: Advice for QuirkyLiving” is a weekly guest column by Lisa and Christina (crossposted at Quirkyalone). It appears every Monday. When you’re making up your own road map for (quirky)living, you need thoughtful advice. We’re here for you. Quirkyalone and Onely welcome your questions; send them on to onely AT onely.org.

Dear Quirkyalone,

Why are there so many more Quirkyalone women than Quirkyalone men? –Cynthia

Dear Cynthia,

Let me start by saying that the Quirkyalone movement–and the singles’ advocacy movement in general–needs and wants more men. More men! More single men’s blogs! More single men commenting on blogs! More single men writing about, talking about, thinking about, and waving a banner for Quirkyaloneness. The concept of being happily single and not settling is not unique to women.

While not unique to women, the experience of being able to hold out for one’s dream man or woman (and being ok if that person never comes) is a relatively new experience for them. For most of this history of the human race, females were usually forced to settle. What choice did they have? They were not fully allowed into the workforce or given control over their own finances, inheritances, birth control, etc. Sometimes they even did more than settle: they connived, competed, and prostrated in order to snag a man, any man, who: wanted them; could feed and clothe them; could care for the children the woman would inevitably conceive. If the woman had luck, she married someone who refrained from abusing her out of his own moral sense, so she didn’t have to rely on the vagaries of a patriarchal law system to protect her. (more…)

CALLING ALL SINGLE MEN! August 28, 2009

Posted by Onely in Everyday Happenings, Food for Thought, Guest Bloggers, Guest Posts.
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25 comments

Ok, well not ALL single men. We want to hear from single-and-fine-with-it men. Please tell us: Why do you like being single (or why do you not dislike it)? How do people react to your single status? What difficulties do you have being a single man in a couple’s world (if any)? And most important–where do you go for information about being Onely and male? I ask because Lisa and I received an astute email from a male reader, who said:

I came across your website recently, and while I do find what you have written to be quite interesting it seems to be written by women for women.  I was wondering if you know of any blogs that take a similar intellectual tone, like the one found in your blog but focus on both a man and a woman’s perspective on being single.  Any links you could send me would be greatly appreciated.

Yay, he called us intellectual! (Obviously he has not been reading our series of nutsucking posts.) 

Onely does try to write about issues affecting both sexes–usually in the form of gripes about legal discrimination against unmarried people. We would love to cover more single men’s issues, but unfortunately Lisa and I just don’t know what it’s like to be a single man, and we haven’t been able to find a lot of (non-heteronormative) information on the topic. As our regular readers are no doubt aware, there is a dearth of writings by empowered, Onely single males–not only on this site, but throughout media and literature. A recent search on Amazon.com for [happy single men] returned: (more…)

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