Men and Cats May 6, 2009
Posted by Onely in blog reviews, Food for Thought, We like. . ..Tags: adam fulrath, attractive men, men and cats, men with cats, menandcats.com, single mythology
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Studies have shown that women think pictures of attractive men holding babies are even sexier than pictures of the men alone. But what’s waaay sexier than a man with a baby? Yes, a man with a CAT! Thanks to Singular magazine for showing me the site Men and Cats. According to a New York Times article, Crazy Cat Men are the latest thing. One of them, John Scalzi, explains why: “If you’re feeling insecure about your space in the world, you get a dog because he will always back you up. . . (but a man with a cat) is secure with himself. He’s sharing his space with a predator.”
And what’s more attractive than someone who is confident about his space in the world?
The stereotypes of men with cats–that they’re effeminate or eternal bachelors or whatever–and the arguments cat-loving (non-effeminate, non-eternal bachelor) men use to counter these stereotypes remind me of the dynamic of singlism and singles. We singles are regularly forced to defend ourselves against, or make excuses for, a status that is not inherently bad in the first place and which can actually be pretty honorable. Same with men and their cats.
Full disclosure: I once briefly dated a friend who took care of my foster cat when I went on an extended trip. J soon decided that he didn’t want to see me anymore but oh, by the way, he’d like to permanently adopt Paws. A less noble foster mom might have said, “F no!” But the business of fostering is to find the kitties homes where they are loved. And so I have not seen Paws since then, except in fond memories. Nobility is overrated!
Copious Readers (except for our hetero male readers, sorry once again, Alan and Bobby), have you dated men with cats? Wish you had? Wish you hadn’t? Who wants to meet Adam Fulrath for a little midnight catnip? ME! ME!
–Christina
Onely Watershed Moments April 15, 2009
Posted by Onely in Bad Onely Activities, God-Idiot or Asshole?, Heteronormativity, We like. . ..Tags: accepting singleness, bad year, being single, drywall, dumped twice, single mythology, watershed moment
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In Lisa’s blurb on our “About Lisa and Christina” tab, she talks about how she fell in love with her single life on a road trip across the country. I was wondering what other watershed moments our Copious Readers have experienced in their journeys from (maybe) heteronormative self-expectations to acceptance of singlehood as a viable, healthy, and acceptable lifestyle.
I don’t know that I ever had a watershed moment. I think my default setting has always been “mostly fine with singleness”, with momentary spikes into “feeling obligated to date to meet social expectations”. However, I think I had a Watershed Month or two sometime in mid-2008. (more…)
REVIEW: SINGLED OUT, by Bella DePaulo–Why are matrimaniacs matrimaniacs? August 5, 2008
Posted by Onely in book review, Reviews, Singled Out, We like. . ..Tags: bella depaulo, discrimination, heteronormative, marriage mythology, prejudice, single mythology, Singled Out, singlism
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DePaulo, Bella. Singled Out, How Singles Are Stereotyped, Stigmatized, and Ignored, and Still Live Happily Ever After. New York: St. Martin’s Press, 2006
(This is an ongoing, serial review, continued from an earlier post)
In Singled Out, DePaulo theorizes that “matrimaniacs” (people who fixate on the importance of marriage and coupling) belittle single people for the following reason:
Book Review: Singled Out, by Bella DePaulo July 21, 2008
Posted by Onely in book review, Reviews, Singled Out, We like. . ..Tags: bella depaulo, discrimination, heteronormative, marriage mythology, prejudice, single mythology, Singled Out, singlism
34 comments
DePaulo, Bella. Singled Out, How Singles Are Stereotyped, Stigmatized, and Ignored, and Still Live Happily Ever After. New York: St. Martin’s Press, 2006.
From Singled Out:
“Some components of singlism are built right into American laws and institutions, which means that neither coupled nor single people have any say about sustaining them. Take Social Security, for example. If you are a married person covered by Social Security and you die, your spouse can recieve your benefits. But if you are a single person who worked side by side with the married person at the same job for the same number of years and you die, no other adult can receive your benefits. Your money goes back into the system.”
How could I have never asked myself: Why? DePaulo explores why few people question our culture’s ingrained bias toward coupledom, and why we should start. (more…)
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