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Nuts and the City: or, Porn and the Single Surfer March 9, 2009

Posted by Onely in As If!, Bad Onely Activities, Food for Thought, Great Onely Activities, Look What Google Barfed Up, Secret Lives of the Happily Single.
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Have you ever been happily blogging away, without a care in the world, and then accidentally created pornography? This happened to me.  When Onely was a younger blog, I wrote my post about how, in my secret life as a happily single person, I like to suck the salt off of nuts and then put them back in the can. In my naivete, I coined the term nut-sucking as an abbreviation for this hobby.

Soon Lisa, who was monitoring our blog stats, discovered that in addition to people finding us by searching for  “rant single people marriage”; “single and happy”; “retort when are you getting married”; “how to stop wanting to be married”; and (my favorite) “when men are confused”;  readers also were finding us through searches for “nut sucking”  and charming variants, such as “women sucking men’s nuts.” (more…)

Let’s Get This Over With As Quickly As Possible Day February 13, 2009

Posted by Onely in "Against Love"...?, As If!, Food for Thought, Heteronormativity, single and happy, Singled Out, Your Responses Requested!.
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antivalentineThis is Onely’s first Valentine’s Day!  Pt-oo!  And that is us spitting on the Hallmark and De Beers mudworms who warped the holiday into its current overcommercialized incarnation.

What can Onely say about V-day, aka Let’s Get This Over With as Quickly As Possible Day,  that hasn’t been said already? “The holiday is insulting to singles”; “not insulting to singles”; “worth celebrating”; “not worth celebrating” — blah, blah.   (more…)

Onely Thanks! November 26, 2008

Posted by Onely in We like. . ..
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  1. Our families (immediate and extended)
  2. Our friends — who we may as well call family
  3. Our readers — you! — for keeping us interesting and interested, and for proving to us that there *are* others out there happy to be single! 🙂
  4. Our cats and dog (Hi Kitty!)
  5. Our homes, which we come back to after long days and extended trips, empty to our relief.
  6. Pumpkin pies. All to ourselves. Good any time of the year!
  7. All the friends who offer their families as substitutes for our own when we’re far away, working through the holiday to get a Ph.D. (OK, that’s Lisa’s special one)
  8. Nut-sucking!!!! hahahahahahaha (that’s Christina’s special one, and Lisa wrote it)

Readers — what else are you thankful for?

A Love Letter, from One Oneler to Another October 9, 2008

Posted by Onely in Everyday Happenings, Great Onely Activities.
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Dearest co-blogger Christina,

I just want to take a moment to THANK YOU for writing so many fantastic and funny posts for our awesome Onely blog. The ones you wrote this week were sharp and hilarious, as always. We’d been discussing the one about chemistry.com since you checked our inbox and read that bizarro email and immediately called me to sound the alarm. Your post made me laugh so hard (J is not for Jerk!!! HA) — you have such a skill with wit and acuity – I’ve told you before, and I’ll tell you again, I’m completely jealous (but in a good way)!

And I’m glad you decided to call out all those NUT-SUCKERS who keep googling nut-sucking and find your nut-sucking post instead of whatever it is they imagine they’ll find.

We’ve been writing together for about four months now, and I want you to know — I’m having so much fun! I am completely thrilled that you were up for making this crazy idea work. Most of all, of course, I am grateful for this partnership, which I feel has made our friendship even more interesting and satisfying than it already was.

🙂 Awwwwwww,

from your fave co-blogger,


Readers: Post love letters to your favorite single friends here!! (and no, I’m not implying that you should write to us, though you may, of course! ;))

Onely with Dependents? October 8, 2008

Posted by Onely in blog reviews, Food for Thought, Reviews, We like. . ..
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1 comment so far

Lisa and I write about some prosaic everyday happenings that make us appreciate the being single–such as our post Onely and Nut-Sucking. (Ok, so it’s my post. Lisa would not be caught dead sucking the salt off cashews and putting them back in the tin, even by herself.)

But what if we were Onely with Kids? We would probably not want our kids to misinterpret our nut-sucking and come away thinking that at a party, they can lick the salt off the pretzels and put them back in the Chex mix. (more…)

Confused about Men? Stop It Stop It Stop It! July 23, 2008

Posted by Onely in "Against Love"...?, Dating, Food for Thought.
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One of the thrills of having a WordPress-sponsored blog is that we can see how our readers come to find our blog. In other words, we can see what google searches end up “hitting” our site. One of the most frequent and popular searches so far? “Confused about men” [or some variation thereof]. Of course this is because that’s the title of one of our earlier posts, “Confused about Men? Get you a Manslation!” when we plugged another blog with a completely different focus (likely the one you’re looking for, we admit).

We find this eternally amusing, but just to throw everyone off we figured we’d write another post with a similar title so you’d end up here… We think you must have ended up here thanks to some higher powers, and with this in mind here’s what we advise:

Stop worrying about men! Read our amazing blog!!!

We hope you enjoy Onely! 🙂

L & C

p.s. we have the same message for all you people searching for “nut sucking” (you know who you are!),  which tracks to this hilarious post by Christina. Don’t be shy… we want you to read our site too!!!

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