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What Every Woman Wants? July 22, 2012

Posted by Onely in Dating, Food for Thought, Heteronormativity, single and happy.
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6 comments

Copious Readers,

The following is a story about the perils of couple-mania. The victim is me. The moral: Always trust your gut – you are a smart and intuitive person. Don’t let couple-mania get the better of you.

ImageA couple of weeks ago, I was invited to help a friend – let’s call her Reem – celebrate her birthday at a beautiful beach in southern Lebanon with her boyfriend (let’s call him Ramzi), and another friend of theirs (we’ll call her Rose). The beach was lovely – sunny, hot, relaxing.

A few hours into the afternoon, a few of Ramzi’s acquaintances from his football league showed up. We mingled. One of the guys started talking to me. We’ll call him Beach Dude.

Beach Dude seemed to be a genuinely nice guy. He’d grown up in the States but was of Lebanese descent. Talking with him, I felt comfortable, relaxed. He even asked me the topic of my dissertation; no one ever does that. We watched the sunset and chatted until I had to leave for Reem’s birthday dinner. I thought nothing of it.

But apparently, Reem, Ramzi, and Rose had thought about it plenty. They started teasing me.

Them: “Wow, Lisa, Beach Dude really likes you!”

Me: “What are you talking about?”

Them: “He stayed to talk to you when all the guys left to play football!”

Me: “Well, that’s true… but…”  My gut just felt they were wrong.

Them: “Lisa, he’s totally into you.”

Me: “I think he was just being friendly.”

Them: “You guys have got to hook up!”

After all their badgering I began to wonder if maybe they were right, and I had in fact entirely misinterpreted Beach Dude’s manner and motivations. Maybe he was totally turned on by the sexy concepts of historiography and disciplinarity (the subject of my dissertation). Still, I squirmed and blushed as they kept insisting that they had seen something I hadn’t.

I already hate couple-mania enough when it’s “out there” – in magazines or on television – but I truly despise it when it’s targeted at me. (more…)

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What Did Your Parents Teach You about Relationships? (A Discussion) July 6, 2009

Posted by Onely in Food for Thought, Guest Posts.
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12 comments

Recently, fellow singles blogger, Special K, offered to collaborate with us on a special post in which the three of us wrote brief responses to the question, “What did your parents teach you about relationships?”

You’ll note that we each hold markedly different perspectives on the issue, and we hope you’ll offer your own below!

Special K says:

“Sheesh, nothing,” one muttered… Well, that’s not exactly true. Like parenting, most people’s parents leave an impression on things you’d like to do that they did, and things that you’d like NOT to do that they did. Parents are powerful role models (we can talk about other role models another time) as well as mirrors for our own relationships. So here’s the thing: whether single or married, with kids, or with dog, your parents matter to your current single-or-not status. Period. (more…)

New Series: Single and Happy, YouTube style December 19, 2008

Posted by Onely in Food for Thought, Pop Culture: Scourge of the Onelys, single and happy, YouTube Style.
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1 comment so far

We’re happy to announce a new series – Single and Happy, YouTube style!

Christina came up with the brilliant idea last week to search for “Single and Happy” via YouTube. I know she’s got a few up her sleeve that she’ll share, but I’ll start us off with one of the first I found, a video of Love coach Carolin Dahlman explaining why it’s important to be happy while single:

Although Ms. Dahlman’s advice is useful, we have a few problems with it here at Onely because her advice revolves around the assumption that anyone who is single is always already pursuing/hoping for a relationship. The whole point of Onely is to challenge this kind of stereotypical assumption about what it means to be “single and happy.” Christina and I, along with many of our readers, are actually happy just being single.

(Astounding, we know!)

Here are a few funny viral videos listed under the category “Why women stay single,” just for fun: (more…)

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