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Pop Culture, Scourge of the Onelies (cross-listed as Guilty Pleasure no. 72x.5): Millionaire Matchmaker February 20, 2009

Posted by Onely in As If!, Dating, Heteronormativity, Pop Culture: Scourge of the Onelys.
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On Wednesday, Christina wrote a confessional post — and now it’s my turn: Ladies and Gentlemen, I must confess that sometimes, after a long Thursday, when I just want to kick back, have a beer, and relax in front of the TV, I watch Bravo’s The Millionaire Matchmaker.

OH I KNOW — you can stop throwing tomatoes at your computer screens (seriously, STOP – your computer will crash and I want you to read the rest of this post!)… I admit it, I’m horrible!! But it’s like … looking at the sun: The show just oozes with so many god-awful heteronormative-hole assumptions, I can’t muster up the strength to look away!


Priesthood, Celibacy, and Being Onely January 14, 2009

Posted by Onely in "Against Love"...?, Food for Thought, Heteronormativity, single and happy, Your Responses Requested!.
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Christina recently pointed me to this very interesting article from the BBC about a priest reflecting on his choice to remain single. Father John Abberton explains that his decision to become a priest was a “positive thing not a negative thing.” In fact,

When I was sixteen and was thinking ahead to what my future would be, I certainly had images of myself as a married man with children. I don’t remember ever struggling with the denial of that. It was a progression into an attitude where I saw myself as being available to as many people as I could be available to and giving myself to the church.

Like many single people, Father John has chosen an admirable occupation and has devoted himself to work that he is passionate about and through which he can enhance the world around him in some very positive ways.

But then Father John’s tone changes slightly, as he compares himself to others who are single (but, ostensibly, not priests?):

I am single for a purpose and my feeling is in someway or another everyone who is single should be single for a purpose. I know there are some people who remain single because they say that is what they want. Although I don’t want to judge people, I think there is a worrying trend in some quarters of society towards a selfish single state.


Onely as Feminist Resistance July 26, 2008

Posted by Onely in "Against Love"...?, Essay review, Food for Thought, Heteronormativity, Reviews, Singled Out.
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I recently finished an essay by Adrienne Rich entitled “Compulsory Heterosexuality and Lesbian Existence,” which is old in terms of publication date (1980) but new – brand new – to me. Rich’s primary argument is directed against feminist scholars who deny, ignore and/or marginalize the fact of lesbian existence, but she also mentions other “facts” of female existence – such as living alone and/or single – that have also been ignored in the face of what she calls “compulsory heterosexuality.” (more…)

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