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Hooking Up: Cool or CREAPy? June 29, 2009

Posted by Onely in Essay review, Everyday Happenings, Great Onely Activities, Secret Lives of the Happily Single, sex.
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 As follow-up to Lisa’s sex posts here and here, my friend Nicole flagged for us this really good article from NPR about the relatively new and spreading trend of “hooking up”, or sex-without-dating. Brenda Wilson talks about the “major cultural shift” we’ve undergone lately, as dating is replaced by hooking up. Wilson reminds us that “dating itself represented a historical change”, as chaperoned sit-down sessions were replaced by dinner-and-movie expeditions. And now we’re changing from dating to hooking up. Because we’re all busy with life, friends, and work,  we have little time for relationships. But you know what? Even though it’s becoming “ok” to hook up (just as it became “ok” to go out without a chaperone), we’re still expected to eventually *stop* hooking up and find a committed  romantic ever-after partner (aka CREAP): 

Wilson interviewed a young person who said (paraphrased by Wilson) that “If you’re honest and open about what you’re doing, and willing to commit to a relationship, she says, a hookup and friendship can be fused into a lifetime partnership.” 

But are hookups less valid or acceptable if they *don’t* lead to a CREAP (or even to friendship)?  Just asking. (more…)

Academic Alert! Michael Cobb’s “Lonely” June 24, 2009

Posted by Onely in "Against Love"...?, Academic Alert!, Essay review, Food for Thought, Reviews, single and happy, Singles Resource, We like. . ..
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academicWe here at Onely–as well as our Copious Readership– have always known that society’s obsession with coupling is “toxic” and a form of “terrorism”.  But now we’ve found an established literary theorist who has expressed this idea using those very words, albeit articulated in academic language.

As most of our regular readers know, I am currently working on a Ph.D. in a Rhetoric and Composition. This summer, one of my major tasks is to compose proposals and reading lists for two of the three exams I will take in the fall. One of my exams will focus on feminist and queer theory — and as I was doing research for the reading list last week, I came across an article in the South Atlantic Quarterly called “Lonely,” written by Michael Cobb. Cobb, who specializes in queer and critical theory, is interested, as the title indicates, in the effects of American culture’s stigmatization of singles.


Onely as Feminist Resistance July 26, 2008

Posted by Onely in "Against Love"...?, Essay review, Food for Thought, Heteronormativity, Reviews, Singled Out.
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I recently finished an essay by Adrienne Rich entitled “Compulsory Heterosexuality and Lesbian Existence,” which is old in terms of publication date (1980) but new – brand new – to me. Rich’s primary argument is directed against feminist scholars who deny, ignore and/or marginalize the fact of lesbian existence, but she also mentions other “facts” of female existence – such as living alone and/or single – that have also been ignored in the face of what she calls “compulsory heterosexuality.” (more…)

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