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Funny Friday: Rescuemarriage.com September 18, 2009

Posted by Onely in Reviews, We like. . ..
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 John Marcotte, 37, (why do these kinds of articles always put the person’s age?) very sensibly realized that if Californians truly want to rescue the hallowed institution of marriage from less-hallowed people like gays, as indicated by the passage of Prop 8, then “a logical extension of Prop 8” should be to ban divorce. Of course! Check out his initiative’s website and see the logical and rhetorical brilliance of Marcotte, 37:

Jesus still loves you if you get divorced–just not as much as before. 

Hell is eternal — just like your marriage was supposed to be

The funniest part are the commenters, who range from religious conservatives like Patti:

protecting traditional marriage is the first step to keeping our children pure and protecting them from the demons of hell.

To liberals like Ariel: 

Really. So rampant abuse, whether physical, sexual, or emotional, of either spouse or children, wouldn’t be grounds for divorce.

The scariest part is the high percentage of commenters who seem to have damage to the right ventromedial areas of their prefontal lobes, resulting in an inability to understand sarcasm.  Given the large number of thus disabled readers out there, could Marcotte’s website actually be inadvertently presenting propaganda against the gay marriage movement? 



1. Lauri - September 18, 2009

hahaha I don’t think ANY of the commentators on any of the blog entries has a clue that it’s sarcasm.

Onely - September 19, 2009

Lauri, startlingly, right ventromedial prefrontal cortex disfunction resulting in lack of ability to process irony is more widespread than I ever thought–dare I say it may even be EPIDEMIC? I posted a status on Facebook saying “Christina is sitting in a jacuzzi with her waterproof laptop eating reases peanut butter cups while Diego massages her feet,” and two people commented back “I didn’t know they made waterproof laptops!” Maybe the fault is mine for not being a skilled enough sarcasimator.

2. Singletude: A Positive Blog for Singles - September 18, 2009

At the risk of looking stupid, I’m not sure I would’ve figured out that was sarcasm either. There are tons of wingnuts writing on the Web. I sift through their articles every week when I put together my “Singles in the News” column. One of the most recent, vicious articles ranted about how, if the country wasn’t careful, all this gay marriage business might lead to even singles expecting equal rights, too. You can’t make this stuff up!

Onely - September 19, 2009

OH NO are you serious? SINGLES MIGHT WANT EQUAL RIGHTS TOO?? I will have to go check out your news column this week (I usually try to but I’ve been distracted lately).

Granted, maybe a reader would be browsing pretty fast and not notice the sarcasm…..

Singletude - September 23, 2009

Sorry, Christina! I forgot to mention that I didn’t actually include that article in “Singles in the News.” Every week, I find a few of these stories, but they’re usually published on web sites with a stated bias, and I try not to feature links like that. That’s partly because I want to focus on mainstream news and partly because I just can’t stomach giving wingnuts another platform for their hate speech. Unfortunately, the article I was referring to appeared a few weeks ago, so I don’t have the link anymore. Otherwise, I’d gladly send it to you so you could see for yourself.

Onely - September 23, 2009

I was wondering why I didn’t see it! = ) Well, I shouldn’t look at it anyway–it would be bad for my immune system.


Lauri - September 19, 2009

Singletude, I agree that site was written in a somewhat confusing manner- back and forth between being obviously sarcastic and few point s that gave me pause…but yeah, given some of the REAL stuff you see out there (like that WaPo writer a while back who wrote about women should get married when they’re in college?) that you honestly just don’t know sometimes.

3. Singlutionary - September 22, 2009


‘nuf said.

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