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Great Onelies in Real Time: Chen Wei-yih to Marry Herself October 22, 2010

Posted by Onely in Food for Thought, Great Onelies in Real Time, Secret Lives of the Happily Single, single and happy.
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In Sex and the City, it sounded too good to be true. But Chen Wei-yih, a 30-year-old Taiwanese woman, is making it a reality: She’s marrying herself.

And the event — scheduled for November 6th — is making international news. Check it out on the Huffington Post, Wei-yih’s blog (if you can read Chinese), and/or friend her on Facebook if you support her. We at Onely think Wei-yih (and those friends and family who support her) rocks, though we wonder if she will enjoy the same benefits as her “real” married counterparts do.

We’re wishing her all the best. Copious Readers, what are your thoughts?

— Lisa (and Christina)

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Comments»

1. Onely - October 23, 2010

Lisa, you forgot to mention that she also goes by Only. Which means she can’t get much closer to Super Awesomeness.
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2. Rachel - October 23, 2010

Good for her! And it sounds like she’s also raising consciousness!

Though I wonder why she’s getting so much press… The idea of marrying oneself has been around for a while. Maybe the time is ripe?

Onely - October 25, 2010

You know, I wondered this too. It’s definitely not a new idea at all. Perhaps it started getting press in Taiwan, where it might be a new(er) idea? Not sure.
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3. I HAVE CAT - October 23, 2010

Interesting. IF she’s so liberated and loves herself so much why the need for a traditional marriage? Why can’t she define her own happiness as a singleton? Seems like she thinks she is more liberated than she is..

Alan - October 23, 2010

I tend to agree. Why bother with a marriage if you’re happy without one?

I’m concerned that the point she’s making may not be the one she intends; it could very well end up reinforcing matrimania.

Onely - October 25, 2010

Her initiative could be interpreted either way I guess–either she’s caving in to matrimania *or* she’s devaluing/demythologizing it by taking away the magic-couple aspect of it. Maybe it’s whatever you want to believe–and obviously Onely and Cat and Alan would like to believe it’s the latter. . . but I can see the worry that because people are so easily brainwashed by wedding stuff, this could end up just reinforcing the idea of “well at least I can marry myself if I can’t find a marriage partner”. Oy
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Alan - October 27, 2010

That’s what I’ve heard in some quarters…ie “Oh, she must be really desperate if she has to marry herself”. That’s what I’m afraid many people are hearing.

4. Lauri - October 25, 2010

I was about to “like” it on facebook, but her little quote says, “I must marry myself before I can marry that special someone.” That’s not really marrying herself, and she seems to only want to do it as stepping stone toward “real” marriage.

Onely - October 25, 2010

oh no, I didn’t see that (me being somewhat facebook-inept anyway). Well, baby steps.
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5. Onely - October 26, 2010

I understand and generally support everyone’s concern about whether or not Wei-yih is reinforcing or breaking stereotypes. I tend to think the latter, if only because she is *using* a stereotype to disrupt it. The reception she’s received on an international level is amazing, and it’s specifically because she’s doing something unusual with a stereotype. No one would pay any attention if she *didn’t* repeat/mimic the culture of matrimania.

To be disappointed/unimpressed by this imitation misses the point: We happen to have been writing/thinking about this problem for quite some time here at Onely, so for us (and our Copious Readers), Chen Wei-yih’s actions may not strike us as all that important. But we’re not her audience… Her reception by the general international public should remind us, first, that that *most people* are not Onely and remain surprised by the Onely mindset; and second, Wei-yih’s reception should be something we celebrate because the underlying point — that matrimania/marriage as a cultural practice is discriminatory — is being disseminated into the world.

(See, also, what Judith Butler has written about imitation as a strategic practice for marginalized people/groups — this is the basic premise from which I’m drawing.)

Also, I don’t think we are in a position to judge Wei-yih on what is written at her Facebook page because her first language is not English, and until we read/translate the Chinese, we really have no idea what she is saying or how she is saying it.

— Lisa

6. eleanore - October 30, 2010

Seems more like a stunt to me…and a sad one, at that. I’d find it way more interesting if she’d decided she didn’t NEED to be married, that she could be happy with herself and her life in whatever form it takes. She actually really just gave in to the pressure to be married…

http://www.TheSpinsterliciousLife.com – where it’s okay not to be married


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