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If You Actually Read Onely, We Wouldn’t Make Fun. Promise. July 14, 2011

Posted by Onely in Great Onely Activities, Pop Culture: Scourge of the Onelys, Singled Out, STFU, Your Responses Requested!.
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Every so often, Christina and I receive emails from folks who obviously haven’t read our blog. Usually, these folks introduce themselves and say kind, generic things–“Love the blog!” “Keep up the great work!” “WOW! You two are such excellent writers, we’d like to offer you a book contract!” (Well, ok, not that last one.)

We’re flattered, of course. But we know they’re liars. How do we know? Because they send us links and encourage us to direct you, Copious Readers, to their websites. And their websites are, more often than not, about dating, intensive coupling, heteronormativity, and matrimania. As our real readers know, this is not what Onely is about.

So normally, we ignore the emails. Occasionally, we’ll send a kind but corrective reply. Although we always cringe, we generally take the high road, avoid the snark. We certainly don’t want to drag ya’ll into it.

But this time, we just can’t help ourselves. Christina forwarded me the following email with the comment “Oh, for god’s sake.” Why? Because at same time the solicitor is sharing links that prove he doesn’t read Onely, he also says that Onely is a sincere pleasure to read.

Hi Lisa,

We would love to share with you an article that we just posted on our own blog!20 Best Blogs for College Dating Advice” (http://www.onlinecollegecourses.com/2011/07/12/20-best-blogs-for-college-dating-advice/) would be an interesting story for your readers to check out and discuss on your blog.

Either way, I hope you continue putting out great content through your blog. It has been a sincere pleasure to read.

Copious Readers, we wondered: What snarky response would you compose on our behalf? Here’s what we’ve come up with so far:

Dear College Dating Advice Guy: Are you sincerely reading now?

– LA

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Comments»

1. Alan - July 14, 2011

I think I’d ask them, “Um, have you actually read this blog?”

But this kind of thing happens all the time. Bella DePaulo’s blog has ads for dating over age 40 right now.

2. eleanore - July 15, 2011

Or, we could recommend a remedial reading course. Being a better reader could help make him a better catch…and save him from receiving snarky advice from those of us who he has annoyed!

The Spinsterlicious Life

3. _Scott_ - July 15, 2011

Hi College Dating Advice Guy,

We would love to share with you an article that we just posted on our own blog! “If You Actually Read Onely, We Wouldn’t Make Fun. Promise.” (https://onely.org/2011/07/14/if-you-actually-read-onely-we-wouldnt-make-fun-promise/) would be an interesting story for your readers to check out and discuss on your blog.

Either way, I hope you continue putting out banal content through your blog. It has been a sincere pleasure to ignore.

Onely - July 15, 2011

HAHAHAHA! Thanks Scott! I really needed an LOL today. If you had a blog I would sincerely read it!
CC


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