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Single? Then DIE! December 11, 2011

Posted by Onely in Look What Google Barfed Up, Onely B*tchslaps Mother Nature.

Welcome to the first installment in our new series, Onely B*tchslaps Mother Nature, where we decry instances of discrimination against singles–in the natural world.

Onely’s regular readers know we hate it when couples are privileged over us singles. We hate paying more than couples at the gym. We hate that the beneficiaries of our IRAs have to pay taxes on that money, just because they’re not our spouses. We hate movies where the hero’s life magically becomes all hunky-dory just because she pairs up with someone. We hate singlism, and we’ve encountered a lot of it in our time.

But at least no one has ever tried to kill us because we were single.

No such luck for single cannibal shrimp. According to this article in New Scientist magazine,

Cannibal shrimp are so hell-bent on living in pairs that when placed in groups of three or four, they attack their peers until just one couple remains alive.

No matter what your stance on marital status discrimination, you have to admit that would make a really gripping reality show.


Photo credit: oogoom

P.S. Yes, all you taxonomists out there, that photo is not actually of cannibal shrimp.  It’s a copulation between two male and one female Amano shrimp, who are apparently much more freespirited and less heteronormative than cannibal shrimp.


1. Stella - December 12, 2011

Geez! And I thought my life sucked! (Not yet into the Christmas spirit. Don’t know if it’s me but I always find it hard at Christmas.)

2. Rem Anon - December 12, 2011

I laughed… especially at the PS!

3. clofa - December 12, 2011

I didn’t see the third shrimp until I read the PS!! Does that make threesomes “natural”?

Thank you for the laugh.

4. adlin - December 12, 2011

Thanks for the laugh!

5. Sandra - January 5, 2012

Nice Post! I actually laughed thanks for that Christina 🙂

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