Want A Green Card? Get Drunk And Throw Glitter! June 5, 2016
Posted by Onely in Uncategorized.trackback
In a previous post, I declared our county animal shelter’s seating policy the most bizarre example of singlism I’ve seen.
Now I must amend that statement. The strangest example of singlism I currently know of goes thusly:
Background: My friend Aliza plans to marry to a Sudanese man. They met overseas but are moving to the U.S., which means he needs a green card. U.S. law says he is eligible for a green card if he marries a U.S. citizen.
(First, before I get to the weird part, I’m compelled by the focus of this blog Onely.org to mention that the green card policy is an example of one of over a thousand federal laws that privilege married people–for example, why can’t I choose a good friend to move to the U.S. with me in lieu of a spouse? And no, according to my sources there are no sponsorship programs as in Canada.)
Aliza wants a simple courthouse ceremony. Fair enough, right?
WRONG! The U.S. federal government requires that she submit, as part of the green card application process, evidence of their wedding, including photographs of their wedding ceremony. The blatant implication is that they expect pictures of relatives and friends dressed up, making speeches and getting drunk (though not necessarily in that order), champagne-dusted flowers flying through the air, a white dress, a black tux, and who knows what else the matrimaniacal legislators have in mind when they imagine a “legitimate” union between two people. The implication is that if their photographs are not convincing enough in the “traditional” way, Aliza’s husband is at risk of not receiving a green card.
We’re not sure that shots of me and Aliza wearing sundresses (or maybe sweats–in any case, the bride will wear polka dots) signing papers at a court desk while our respective date and husband stand sober in suits in front of some random photobombers (other couples? speeding tickets?) will make the cut.
–Christina
Photo Credit: The Wedding Band Shop
Onely.Org 
That’s how I ended up in an abusive marriage: In order to continue dating, we had to get married – and we had only known each other for a few months, not enough to realize that the nice facade was covering up a very sick man. Of course, there were also other factors but the fact that I would have to leave the country and return to Europe certainly exerted quite a bit of pressure to marry way too soon.