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Being Onely

Got a question, comment, concern about the practice of “Being Onely”? Want to alert us to a book/magazine/movie/etc. that we should review for this blog?  Simply have a rant about Being Onely in a couple-oriented world? We’ll be happy to respond (because we are, after all, the ones who made up the word, it seems we have a responsibility to it)!

OR, if you are a Oneler who feels you can offer a valuable perspective on what it means to be Onely and who is interested in occasionally writing for this site, post a brief comment below and we will contact you privately via email to discuss adding you to our “Guest Contributors” log.

All we ask is that you first read this page if you haven’t already. Then, submit a comment below* or email us at: onely @ onely.org and check back soon to read our response!**

* Important Note: Keep in mind that anything you write below or in an email may be published on this site, whether on this page or as a topic for consideration on our “home” blog page. This means that if you provide your actual name, your actual name may appear in a posting on this site. No identifying information that you provide will ever be reproduced, sold, or used by us for any purpose outside of this site. So if you’d like to remain anonymous, go for it. We don’t mind. In fact, we actually want you to contribute to our site – so please, do whatever you need to do in order to feel comfortable sending us your thoughts/ideas/concerns etc.!

** We can provide no guarantees that we will respond to your comment in a “timely” fashion. But rest assured — we’ll be reading and we will try our best to respond in the near future. :)

Comments»

31. karen - June 25, 2011

i very much appreciate this blog! i have honestly never come across the term singlism before, despite being involved in psych research on many other isms (e.g., heterosexism, racism, sexism, etc.). can’t wait to read more!

-karen

Reply
Onely - June 28, 2011

Thanks Karen!
Bella DePaulo at Psychology Today actually came up with the term. What’s interesting is that people often mistake it for a positive connotation, because they parallel it to the term “feminism”. (But I think there are more negative isms than positive ones, so most of the time people use “singlism” correctly.)

CC

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32. Karen Boss - August 17, 2011

Hi! I’d love to contribute to this blog. Will you be in touch to discuss how it might work? Thanks! Karen, Boston

Reply
Karen Boss - August 17, 2011

Hmmm….I think you can see my email but here it is just in case, I don’t mind posting it here: kbworld_2001 [at] yahoo.com.

Thanks. Karen Boss again. :)

Reply
Onely - August 17, 2011

Hi Karen! Thanks for your interest – we’d love to hear about your ideas; just send us an email with more details to us at: onely (at) onely.org

Cheers! Lisa

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33. sarasvati3 - August 19, 2011

Hey Ladies! I’ve been reading your blog and loving it! And then coincidently (?) came across this article:

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/the-hot-button/does-the-single-life-mean-an-earlier-death/article2135487/

Sigh…this can’t be true! Say it ain’t so! Thought you and your readers might be interested in this. :)

Reply
Onely - August 20, 2011

Hi Sarasvati, thanks for reading! Have to love the photo attached to this article–the poor woebetrodden single woman staring pensively down at her blue cosmo. Are you also reading the Living Single blog on Psychology Today by Bella DePaulo? She has done a *lot* of debunking of the myth that single people die sooner, by deconstructing the setup of the studies, which are usually very flawed.

When you find articles like this, you can also contact her directly (and us too of course, if you want!). I’m going to go ahead and flag this for her in case she hasn’t seen it. I’ll cc you on the email.
= )
Christina
EDIT: ACTUALLY I just noticed that Bella’s most recent post DOES cover this study, though she bases it on an MSNBC article not the Globe & Mail article.

Here: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/living-single/201108/watch-out-singles-once-again-you-are-doomed-early-grave-cheater-technique?page=2

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34. guest - August 23, 2011

Hello, does anyone here feel that coupling up is more common in certain regions/cities than others? I am from Chicago and it seems like settling down and having kids is the thing to do here. The singles all live in the city (the suburbs do not cater to singles at all), and once they find their wife/husband, they move out to the burbs to live the American dream. Nothing wrong with wanting that, but it seems like you are looked down upon if you are not married. Many women here are proud to parade around as a “Mrs.” once they get married. Like they are entitled or something. Is this more common in the Midwest? Seems like everyone here is deeply rooted. Maybe the single soul is more valued in cities with more transients?

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35. Chloe L. - December 9, 2011

Some people are happy and single. I thought you and your readers might get a giggle out of this short youtube video. My friend sent it to me, and it helps answer that question”Why aren’t you married yet? Please stop asking me this people!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uvXaLt65wRg

Reply
Onely - December 18, 2011

Thanks Chloe!

Reply
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