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Being Onely

Got a question, comment, concern about the practice of “Being Onely”? Want to alert us to a book/magazine/movie/etc. that we should review for this blog?  Simply have a rant about Being Onely in a couple-oriented world? We’ll be happy to respond (because we are, after all, the ones who made up the word, it seems we have a responsibility to it)!

OR, if you are a Oneler who feels you can offer a valuable perspective on what it means to be Onely and who is interested in occasionally writing for this site, post a brief comment below and we will contact you privately via email to discuss adding you to our “Guest Contributors” log.

All we ask is that you first read this page if you haven’t already. Then, submit a comment below* or email us at: onely @ onely.org and check back soon to read our response!**

* Important Note: Keep in mind that anything you write below or in an email may be published on this site, whether on this page or as a topic for consideration on our “home” blog page. This means that if you provide your actual name, your actual name may appear in a posting on this site. No identifying information that you provide will ever be reproduced, sold, or used by us for any purpose outside of this site. So if you’d like to remain anonymous, go for it. We don’t mind. In fact, we actually want you to contribute to our site – so please, do whatever you need to do in order to feel comfortable sending us your thoughts/ideas/concerns etc.!

** We can provide no guarantees that we will respond to your comment in a “timely” fashion. But rest assured — we’ll be reading and we will try our best to respond in the near future. :)

Comments»

16. Cooper - October 1, 2009

I just found this site & I love it … have spent the majority of this afternoon perusing the pages, articles and commentary (and not working, as I should be). Thank you for a refreshingly honest portrayal of LIFE as a single person (yes, we do have very active, fulfilling lives!!). I’m not opposed to marriage – actually it works for a lot of people. (Actually being a severely lapsed Catholic, I wouldn’t mind living in sin … there’s just something sexier about living with a guy and not being married, but I digress.) In the past 10 months, I know of three couples who are divorcing. Average length of the 3 marriages? 22 years. Number of children involved? 13. After explaining to my 74-year old parents (who have been married for 45 years) that I didn’t see myself walking down the aisle – ever – my mom just looked at me, smiled and said “Honey, we are perfectly okay with that.” (Honestly she probably would have said the same thing if I told her I was lesbian, or was pregnant…she had a glass or wine or two in her.) Though I venture to guess her reaction would be decidedly different if she wasn’t already a grandmother seven times over … thankfully no pressure from the parents on that front. Thanks for such a great website … you’ve got a loyal fan!

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Onely - October 1, 2009

Thanks so much for the kind words, Cooper. We’re always glad to have a new reader. (Of course we love our old loyal readers too!) If you have specific topics you want us to cover, or if you’re interested in guest posting, just shoot us an email (or comment).

My parents are also–thankfully!!–not concerned with whether I get married, even though they are not grandparents by either me or my sister. The secret is: I got my mom a CAT! Ok, full disclosure: she took me to the shelter to cheer me up after I got dumped, and *I* found a cat for *her*.

CC

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17. Zinnia - October 11, 2009

Hiiii I’m so glad I’ve found you lovely sisters! It’s so nice to know that there are women like me out there. I just love your blog. Yeah I’m for the single life. It’s full of freedom and fun! Yeyyy
As Cindy Laupa’s song goes, (this is my favorite song); …Some boys take a beautiful girl and hide her away from the rest of the world.I wanna be the one to walk in the sun. O girls they wanna have fun. O girls just wanna have fun.
Yes that’s all we really want. Freedom and fun :)

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18. C.S. Lewiston - October 18, 2009

I’ve written a mini-rant on my blog about the word “single”, and why it bugs me that unmarried people are given this particular label. Basically, I’ve pointed out that the word triggers assumptions about who we are, what we’re about and why we happen to be single (hint: it’s got nothing to do with our attractiveness, success in the business world, etc.)

Here’s the URL:

http://open.salon.com/blog/thefuddler/2009/10/11/on_singularity

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Onely - October 23, 2009

Copious Readers, check out CS’s post. . . enjoy the excellent video of a “single” = ) = )
Christina

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19. Sam Jones - March 27, 2010

Hey Christina,

Sam Jones here…was cleaning out my post list of stray unfinished posts and saw your comment about my post about my impulsive trip to San Diego…waaaaaaaaaaaaay back on 2/23/10…sorry about not seeing that until now. I think you get how sometimes keeping up with the blog can escape you…

I say go for a short, short visit if you can…you can be the cool aunt who came all the way from…? and make your cousin be either a little bit jealous of your freedom (nah, that’s probably just mean isn’t it? :P ) or grateful for the change of pace a visit from a relative brings. The weather there is just too damn beautiful to keep away from.

Anyway,

Cheers,

Sam.

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20. Denise - July 22, 2010

I’m glad to have found this site. I’m a polyamorous lesbian. I much prefer to have friendships and romantic flings with women than serious long term relationships. I’m glad to see that there are people who understand that not everyone has to be coupled all the time!

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21. Nicky - July 27, 2010

Hi Lisa and Christina, congrats on your great work here. AtMP’s blog finally has a blogroll, and of course you’re listed. Would you list our blog too? thanks, Nicky
http://www.unmarried.org/blog/

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Onely - July 27, 2010

Thanks Nicky–You’re already on our blogroll, but you might not have seen the link because it’s under the “Resources” list instead of the “Blogs About Being Single” list; we figured that AtMP wasn’t really about being single per se, given that it also focuses on unmarried couples. We appreciate your adding us–we love AtMP!
= )
Christina (and Lisa)

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