Antisocial? NOT! January 16, 2009
Posted by Onely in As If!, Food for Thought, Great Onely Activities, single and happy.Tags: antisocial?, entertaining, obama inauguration, out-of-town visitors, road trips
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So, a lot of the posts Christina and I make on this site may, for those who don’t know us in “real” time, make us seem slightly antisocial. After all, we don’t like having to be around other people for long periods of time, and even while on vacation must make time to be alone. But let us assure you, we’re not antisocial. We just appreciate our Oneliness!
One of my favorite things to do is to entertain/host others — back when I had more substantial living quarters (and/or a pontoon boat and lake in the backyard), I loved throwing parties. Over the last year and a half, I haven’t been able to entertain to my heart’s content because my apartment here in Louisville is too damn small (I can’t comfortably fit more than 10 people or so). But I have missed throwing those parties, and since I moved to this po’dunk town, none of my many friends who live out of town has ever come to visit (ahem…, Christina! 😉 ).
But the time has finally come. Two friends who I reconnected with during my best friend’s wedding over the New Year are driving from St. Louis to DC for Obama’s inauguration (I’m so jealous I could cry!), and they’re stopping here overnight. So I’ve spent the day preparing for their visit, which really isn’t much of a visit if you really think about it, but it’s a visit (and visitors) nontheless, ad I’m excited! So excited, in fact, that I went out and bought a few new houseplants since my orchid died (or at least stopped blooming) and since my four-year-old bamboo plant began fading last week.
Anyway, they’ll be here in a few hours, and for the first time I will have visitors from out of town… FINALLY! 🙂
And see? No one can say I’m antisocial.
Readers, what other misconceptions do people have of you just because you’re Onely?
— L
Onely.Org 
The first paragraph completely resonates with me as I too get squirmy after awhile if I don’t have enough book time or quiet, away from people: I don’t always answer the phone just because it rings; I frequently declare myself a drama-free zone in order to keep mental balance.
Yes, I have heard the term anti-social or hermit unjustly applied to me as well as other single people who like, or need, their solitude. Of course, that fully contrasts with my mom thinking I’m always going out to bars and have a dizzying social life and that I don’t have responsibilities and just don’t understand, like married people do. oy. Don’t even get me started about “selfish” and not having kids.
Lori — excellent explanation about the catch-22 that we often find ourselves in as single AND happy! Maybe we just tend to like being social on our OWN terms instead of on others, which is what happens, I think, when one lives with someone else. Thanks for sharing —
L
It’s interesting to me how taking care of one’s self is so often construed as being selfish.
I like how you put it L- “social on our own terms.” I dated a guy last year who never said no to social invitations and it seemed to me a kind of neediness. It was suffocating to me personally as I always seemed to be protecting or defending my own time.