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Here Comes the Bra May 15, 2009

Posted by Onely in As If!, Everyday Happenings, Look What Google Barfed Up.
Tags: , ,

0013729e42ea0b749a101bNobody does bizarre like the Japanese. We already covered Japan’s rent-a-spouse concept and are pleased to see that they have made further strides in the love industry with the husband-hunting aka “konkatsu” bra!

Triumph publicist Keiko Masuda said of the bra, which features a self-set counter: “First you decide your target time or deadline until marriage and the countdown clock will start.

“Once you find your life partner and get engaged, you have to insert the engagement ring into the slot and the clock stops and The Wedding March begins.”

I had to read that yahoo news snippet three times, plus several other iterations from different articles, before I understood the bra. Allow me to interpret for you: the bride-wannabe sets a timer on the bra for the date or time (unclear) when she wants her fiance to propose. The timer is a clock that ticks down like a bomb in a James Bond movie. If the guy proposes before the digits hit zero, he can take the ring and stick it in the pink slot (subtle, subtle) between the bra cups to cause the Wedding March song to play. Here’s a video with demo. As you would imagine, it’s completely unsexist and inoffensive. 

“But what if he doesn’t propose?” you might well ask. “What if the time runs out? What happens then?” That’s the odd thing. None of the articles I read explained what the bra does if no one sticks a ring into it before the deadline. The yahoo piece said it “resets” automatically. But what song does it play? Or does a horrendous screeching buzzer go off like the sound of old maids screaming as their starving cats maul them? Does it reset for the same amount of time originally chosen, or shorter, putting on the pressure because you’re not getting any younger?

Kudos to any Copious Readers who can find out what happens if the man doesn’t propose! Other than that the woman turns into a pillar of cat food.



1. Lauri - May 15, 2009

It’s pretty telling that nothing bad happens if the timer runs out, just like in life. Nothing bad happens if you don’t get married.

2. Monique - May 15, 2009

Lol….. I love the idea of the screeching buzzer sounding like an old maid….. that was soooo funny. Now, on a more serious tone, I think that bra’s an absolutely stupid gadget.

3. Singlutionary - May 16, 2009

Dude. This is hilarious. Everyone sets it for when they are 25 because at that point they become christmas cakey. Did you guys blog about christmas cakey before? If not here is a short explination (thanks to my friends husband who made sure that I knew when I had become christmas cakey).

In Japan people celebrate christmas on December 24th by eating a christmas cake. On December 25th all the christmas cake left on the shelf is bad and nobody wants it because it is pointless and past its prime. Same thing goes for a woman who turns 25 without being married. Christmas Cakey.

It just seems to go with the bra.

And the ring being inserted is just pervy. I want to create some performance piece and wear this as my costume.

I wonder if a quarter would do the trick. Or what other things you could insert in it to turn it off. Of course then it starts playing DUM> DUM DA DUM> DA DUM DAH DUM. DAH DUMB DA DUMB DA DA DUMB DUH DUH DUMB!

4. Monique - May 16, 2009

Wow, I’ve never heard about that Christmas cakey thing before. Now isn’t that completely discriminatory. So I’m past my time and useless….. give me the gun to shoot myself! Or should I just cut my wrists?

onely - May 19, 2009

I also had never heard of Christmas Cakey–I rather like it. Christina Christmas Cakey! I think we will have to reclaim the word for ourselves. Christmas Cakey and Proud!

Nivia - February 11, 2012

As a Senior Consultant at a Data Governance spaeiclist, I found this article fascinating. At Evaxyx, we believe that information is at the heart of any modern enterprise, and that it must be used for business advantage. We always begin by constructing a model of the data used in an enterprise. Our models promote engagement over formality. Before any discussions on data can begin, it is essential that a common basis of understanding is achieved. There are always existing perspectives to accommodate. We do this by working collaboratively and intensely with our customers.

5. bobby - May 16, 2009

I don’t think anything happens because with the pressure, the guy just about has to propose!

God, I truly don’t know how you ladies do it, really. Me? A shower and shave, sweatpants and tee shirt and I’m good to go 😉

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