Still Seeking Happily Ever After June 26, 2009
Posted by Onely in film review, Reviews, Singles Resource, We like. . ..Tags: desperate to marry, happily ever after, michelle cove, millionaire matchmaker, patti stanger, seeking happily ever after, sundance trailer
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In the early days of Onely, we briefly mentioned the groundbreaking film Seeking Happily Ever After , which director Michelle Cove describes in an email as, “a feature-length documentary about why there are more single 30-something women than ever in the US and whether women are redefining happily ever after”. Of course our Copious Readership already knows the answers to those questions! But it’s great to see a film giving voice to single women, and especially gratifying to hear that the film was the top-rated trailer at Sundance. And check out the pedigrees of the singles experts who contributed to the effort.
Because all our single readers are also experts in the field, you should tell your own stories to Michelle as she assembles data for the film’s companion book, a “feel-great guide to living your own happily ever after.” Just fill out this survey, “Three Questions, Three Minutes“, designed for single (not married) women over 26. Here’s what the filmmakers learned during their project and what (I assume) will be reflected in the book:
Most of the women filmed were eager to debunk the media-made stereotypes that they are either desperate to get married or too career driven to care about marriage. In the name of reclaiming their own experience, these women dropped their guard and shared the ups and downs of being single at this unique moment in history. . . Single men also desperately wanted to clear up misconceptions about themselves and what they are looking for in relationships.
Like Onely, the filmmakers are not against relationships or marriage per se. If a woman really wants to find a significant other but has not been unduly influenced towards this goal by social pressure, then they support her. In July they intend to film a well-known TV personality and ask her “why there are more single women than ever and what advice would she give them for meeting a quality guy.”
Nothing wrong with that, except that the personality is Patti Stanger, of Millionaire Matchmaker, the sexist reality show extraordinare that Onely had a cow about not long ago. Charitably, Cove says of Stanger that “We can pretty much bank on the fact that she’ll have some eye-opening ideas.” Eye-opening or heteronormative (or both)? Given the filmmakers’ progressive views on single women (as evidenced by the trailer), we’re looking forward to seeing how they handle Stanger’s possibly non-progressive views. And we’ll be posting about the film as soon as it’s out of final edits and we get a chance to see it!
Wishing all our readers happily ever after,
Christina
Onely.Org 
Interesting…I find myself in paradox over that…we want women NOT to feel pressured to get married (or look a certain way, or act submissive) and then in the same domain offer content juxtaposing that (interveiw a person about “finding the one” or having diet tips next to an article about body acceptance). It’s like the american superficial motto…ACCEPT what it is, but that’s not really good enough so strive for something “better…” the problem is, when you get to that “better” (use Patti’s way to snab a man, lose those 10 pounds) it really isn’t “better.”
Right, or the “body acceptance” article next to the pictures of genetic mutant supermodels . .
CC
If a woman is in her late 30s or early 40s, unmarried, the media and society should celebrate her as the crown jewel, a positive example of independence and a sign of what happens when one has personal freedom. I mean, how many people can say they have freedom and have (almost) complete control of their lives? Not many. Those kinds of women are heroes to me.
I am a single man and would love to see the media portray single women as successful and independent. It doesn’t bother me that a woman does not have a boyfriend or a husband. I see too many women give up their hopes and dreams to find Mr. Right, only to be unhappy the rest of their lives, because of the dreaded words of sacrifice and compromise.
There are marriages that are fine, but even showing positive examples of marriage is a form of pressure on single women. It’s like saying, “so and so has been happily married for 40 years, here’s what you have to live up to…”
Seeking Happily Ever After is a great film because it recognizes the value of asking the question “Why not be single?” I’m in the film and really appreciated the filmmaker Michelle Cove’s decision to show the diversity of singlehood beyond the Sex And The City, Gossip Girls, The Bachelors, and all the other eye candy lifestyle portrayals of singlehood.
As more and more people are choosing to be single – and I do believe it is a choice, the film allows single women (and men) to “think out loud” about this growing global lifestyle. Marriage is no longer the default state of adulthood. Let’s celebrate the film and her new book for recognizing a new definition of “The One” – our singular self!
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[…] women. For example, they interviewed Patti Stanger, “The Millionaire Matchmaker.” I cringed when I heard her talking about how women should rank themselves from one to ten and then look for a […]
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