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You Might Be A Heteronormahole If. . . July 1, 2009

Posted by Onely in Food for Thought, Heteronormativity, Just Saying..
Tags: , , , ,

As our Copious Readers know, Onely invented the term “heteronormahole,” but we’ve never defined it — until now. So, in case you’re worried we’re talking about you (hint: if you’re reading this blog, this possibility is HIGHLY UNLIKELY), here’s a list to help you sort it out.

You Might Be a Heteronormahole If:

1. The first question you ask a person you haven’t talked to in some time is, “So, are you seeing anyone?” (you also might be a heteronormahole if this is the second question you ask).

2. You’re a waiter and you scowl when a one-top walks in.

3. You think that, without a mother and a father living together, children will end up delinquent or deficient.

4. You insist that other people’s relationships need to be “headed somewhere.”

5. You think everyone dreads coming home to an empty house.

6. Your automatic response to someone who says he/she is single is “Awwwww” or “Don’t worry, you’ll find someone.”

7. Given the choice, you would ALWAYS choose to spend time with your significant other, rather than hang out with your friends.

8. You’re a realtor and automatically show single people smaller houses than your coupled clients.

9. You organize office baby and wedding showers, but not showers for Christina.

10. You feel sorry for people who live “all alone” with their cats and/or books.

Readers, how do you recognize a heternormahole?

— Lisa and Christina


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[…] even love to see a heteronormahole try to do the math, in an attempt to disprove our theory that MSD costs unmarried people millions […]

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