Let’s Rank People: Always-Single, Divorced, Married. Who would you date? May 11, 2013
Posted by Onely in As If!, Uncategorized.Tags: discrimination against divorce, singles blog, things not to say after a breakup
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My friend Bee’s roommate Dee recently broke up with her boyfriend of several years. Bee’s father stopped by her and Dee’s apartment and, when he happened ask where Dee was, Bee told him she was in her bedroom with her tearful face buried in her laundry pile (dirty or clean, Bee wasn’t sure) listening to Poison’s “Every Rose Has Its Thorn” on repeat, repeat, repeat.
“I always knew that man was bad news,” Dee’s father said. Now, most people know that that is the the one thing you never, ever say to someone who has just had a breakup. But Bee’s father toed that line, then lept over it:
I knew he was bad news, because he was divorced.
Bee rolled her eyes and thanked god or the universe or whatever that Dee couldn’t hear anything over the Sad, Sad, Song playing in the background.
Copious Readers, your thoughts on this statement? Forgiveable from an old-school, overprotective father?
Before you answer, know that Dee’s dad actually came from a divorced family himself.
As someone myself who has dated some wonderful divorced men, I can’t help but think. . . WTF?
–Christina
Onely.Org 
Exactly, Christina…my very best husband was divorced twice, before we hooked up and it’s been 42 good years…so far… Just need to find the right combination of personalities and, er, um, a little maturity helps too.
YEAH!
It would be more interesting if Dee’s father also “dated some wonderful divorced men.”
Being divorced is meaningless on its own. The circumstances leading to the divorce mean much more. Was he caught cheating? Were all the signs there that he was not really committed to the relationship so after several years of marriage he did not magically become more interested?
I am of two minds about this. As a good friend of mine (who is now married for the second time) observed, at least someone who’s divorced has demonstrated an ability (or at least willingness) to commit. I have more typically been involved with never-marrieds, thinking we had more in common (it’s my status as well). But given the fact that we are all pushing 50 (or more) it always seems these guys are primarily committed to … remaining single.
This reminds me of a conversation with my uncle several months after my aunt had died. He did not want to remain alone for the rest of his life so was seeking a new wife. Did not want to date someone his age who had never been married because that’s a sign that something must be wrong. He didn’t want to date someone divorced because that was also a sign of something wrong with the woman..even though my aunt had been divorced when they met and married. I guess it was a good thing that he found a widow that he’s now married to.
Since I’m only a few years younger than he and have never been married, I tried really hard not to take his “must be something wrong with her” comments personally.