Onely.Org

Here Comes the Bra May 15, 2009

Nobody does bizarre like the Japanese. We already covered Japan’s rent-a-spouse concept and are pleased to see that they have made further strides in the love industry with the husband-hunting aka “konkatsu” bra!

Triumph publicist Keiko Masuda said of the bra, which features a self-set counter: “First you decide your target time or deadline until marriage and the countdown clock will start.

“Once you find your life partner and get engaged, you have to insert the engagement ring into the slot and the clock stops and The Wedding March begins.”

I had to read that yahoo news snippet three times, plus several other iterations from different articles, before I understood the bra. Allow me to interpret for you: the bride-wannabe sets a timer on the bra for the date or time (unclear) when she wants her fiance to propose. The timer is a clock that ticks down like a bomb in a James Bond movie. If the guy proposes before the digits hit zero, he can take the ring and stick it in the pink slot (subtle, subtle) between the bra cups to cause the Wedding March song to play. Here’s a video with demo. As you would imagine, it’s completely unsexist and inoffensive. 

“But what if he doesn’t propose?” you might well ask. “What if the time runs out? What happens then?” That’s the odd thing. None of the articles I read explained what the bra does if no one sticks a ring into it before the deadline. The yahoo piece said it “resets” automatically. But what song does it play? Or does a horrendous screeching buzzer go off like the sound of old maids screaming as their starving cats maul them? Does it reset for the same amount of time originally chosen, or shorter, putting on the pressure because you’re not getting any younger?

Kudos to any Copious Readers who can find out what happens if the man doesn’t propose! Other than that the woman turns into a pillar of cat food.

–Christina