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Onely: By Chance or By Choice? August 26, 2008

Posted by Onely in Food for Thought.
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Am I Onely because I choose to be by myself, or am I Onely because circumstances have forced singlehood on me? That is, am I getting what I want, or am I wanting what I’ve got?  Would I change my single status? Could I?  Copious Readership, what do you think? (I’ll answer this question from my perspective later, after some sleep.) –CC


1. Shannon - August 27, 2008

oooh, tricky. And I think I fall somewhere in the middle of the first two questions, say ‘only for the most perfect person’ (who does not exist) to the third and yes certainly to the last.

If I were willing to settle for less than what I want, then i could certainly be coupled up quickly. I’m young and attractive and um, really good in bed. If I wanted someone based on these qualities, well, I could have someone.

But I prefer to not settle. I choose to be by myself. I want to be by myself, because I don’t like the alternatives at the moment. If my perfect dream man or woman were to walk into my life anytime soon.. actually, I would stay single. Until a time after the baby was born. then, and only then, I would think about being ‘coupled up’.

It’s not actually something I really think about – this comment took ages to write. I am so happy being single that the idea of actively changing that is weird. Why change a good thing??

2. Lisa’s Perspective: Onely by Chance or by Choice? « Onely. - August 27, 2008

[…] adventures, being alone, breakups, choosing singlehood, Dating, exploring trackback Christina posted a thought-provoking question last night: Are you/we/I Onely by Chance or by Choice? Here’s my […]

3. Onely: by Chance or by Choice? Christina’s Perspective « Onely. - August 29, 2008

[…] adventures, being alone, breakups, choosing singlehood, exploring, hobie cat trackback To answer my own question, I’m Onely by chance AND by […]

4. Cynthia - September 5, 2008

This is not totally related but I thought that I would share – I was talking to a coworker yesterday. She started telling me that a good friend of hers is getting divorced. The whole thing is a mess. Then she started saying that she would not push her children into marriage after seeing some messy divorces. She realized that as long as they are happy being single, it’s better than being tied to an unhappy marriage. For some reasons, I felt very happy and touched by her epiphany, especially coming from someone whose cultural background mandates marriage, mostly arranged, as the duty of a woman. Don’t know how she would feel though if her kids choose single-hood over happy marriage like Judy Davis in My Brilliant Career but a small step per time:)

5. onely - September 6, 2008

It’s TOTALLY related! Thanks Cynthia!

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