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Where’s your boyfriend? When are you getting married? YOUR RESPONSES REQUESTED August 31, 2008

Posted by Onely in As If!, Dating, Food for Thought.
Tags: , , ,

Copious Readership, how would YOU have responded to these rude questions? 

“So when are YOU getting married?” I got this question from a woman I had met five minutes earlier, after she heard that our mutual friend was engaged. This was mere weeks after I’d experienced a devastating, mind-blowing breakup. So I told her, “I just had a terrible breakup” and turned to the bartender for a drink. Next time (and you just know there will be next times!) I want to respond to the question “When are you getting married?” with “When are you getting a Pomeranian?”

A week later, at a pub concert with the same engaged friend, a mere nodding acquaintance of ours heard her good news, then turned to me and said, “And where’s your boyfriend?” (he never knew my ex, never knew I had an ex, barely knew I existed outside of the band’s world).  I can’t remember what I said (possibly I had the very un-Onely response of whimpering like a pee-filled puppy). I *wish* I had said, “At home with his wife and six kids.” 

So I can’t wait until the next time someone asks me one of The Questions! 

We’re soliciting response suggestions! What have you got? Anyone??? This is really important, guys! = ) 



1. Shannon - August 31, 2008

I find the best response to “When are you getting married” is “As soon as I find the right girl” because anyone who asks this questions is pretty much guaranteed to have an adverse reaction to the idea of girl-on-girl marriage. But they can’t complain, because they asked. So it’s funny to watch their faces turn purple.

As for the second “At home, barefoot and chained to the sink” tends to work well…

2. onely - September 6, 2008


3. onely - September 7, 2008

Well, I’m quite dextrous with a certain finger…

– L

4. Kristen - January 5, 2009

Q: When are you getting married?
A: As soon as you get some home-training, Miss Emily Post.

Q: Where’s your boyfriend?
A: In my bedside table drawer.

Q: When will you have children?
A: I tried that, but the state kept taking them away.

5. lori - January 6, 2009

My new favorite answer to “why aren’t you married?” is:
Just lucky I guess….

Still looking for a snappy retort to this frequent line from my mother:
“At least you don’t have kids to take care of while you’re (sick) (recovering from surgery) (recovering from a broken heart) (working overtime) etc…..”

And to: where’s your boyfriend?
The batteries are recharging.

6. onely - January 6, 2009

How awesome that this post is still getting responses! Such a wealth of zingers here, from Shannon and, more recently, Kristin and Lori. The trick is to remember them so that they are on the tip of your tongue at the moment when you need them—NEVER my strong suit. = ) –CC

7. Rachel - January 7, 2009

Having found this post through the most popular links on the right, I thought I’d add my 2 cents…

Although I love the smart a*s responses, I’d prefer responding in a way that may help raise consciousness and maybe even start a conversation.

Q: When are you getting married?
A: As soon as marriage has lost its last patriarchal baggage.

Q: Where’s your boyfriend?
A: Why do I need a boyfriend?

Q: When will you have children?
A: When the world population is shrinking.

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11. Mishi - March 31, 2009

Finding this site made my day! But here is something I get quite often:

“Are you seeing/dating anyone?”


(and then the response is like an “AWWWWWW” as if they feel totally sorry for me).

Any ideas????

12. trauma queen - April 29, 2009

I love lori’s response about the batteries being charged – haha..awesome!

What would I like to say?

Q. When are you getting married?
A. When are you dying?

Q. When are you getting married?
A. As soon as you have your fifth kid

Now this is an answer I actually give people:
Q. When are you getting married?
A. Next year…
No one asks any further questions when I say that…and no one remembers I have been saying ‘next year’ for the past three years now 😉

Fortunately in India, not having a bf is ok. But being unmarried is a sin

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“Where is your boyfriend?” “…Who?”

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