Great Onelies in Real Time: Shanaz (YOUR RESPONSES REQUESTED) January 8, 2009Posted by Onely in As If!, Everyday Happenings, Food for Thought, Great Onelies in Real Time, Heteronormativity, Profiles, Your Responses Requested!.
Tags: gay, haircut, homophobia, iranian politics, lesbian, single, singlism
This evening my hairdresser and I talked about being Onely. Shanaz likes men but is more interested in friends, her hair artistry, her daughter, her writing (Persian language commentary on Iranian politics), and just life. “I’m happiest without a boyfriend,” she says. At forty-something, she’s been married and coupled and single and even accidentally involved with a married man. And she chooses single.
But you know what’s coming next, don’t you? Yes. Shanaz said,
“When I was thirty-four and getting married, many of my clients told me, ‘Oh, thank goodness, I thought you were a lesbian!’ ” Oh, well done, clients! A double axle: disparaging singles and homosexuals in one swoop! Bravo! Bravo!
“One of my friends,” continued Shanaz, “He sees me and he always asks if I am seeing someone. I tell him I don’t need a man, I’m happy. He says, ‘but of course you need a man.’ He says, ‘You just haven’t met the right man yet.’ ” Here we’re back to the common singlist refrain of “It’s ok to be happy and single, as long as you have the end goal of getting a partner.”
My favorite story of Shanaz’s was, “This one client, I cut his and his wife’s hair, he says to me because I’m single, ‘You must be a lesbian.’ I say, ‘Yes, I go with your wife. Your wife likes me.’ Then one day I was cutting his wife’s hair, and he walked in, so I leaned close over his wife like this, and put my hand on her back and said ‘yes honey’ and acted loving. Then I pretended to just have noticed her husband, and I jumped back and said, ‘Oh no, you caught us!’ ” When she told this story, complete with pantomines, I had to choke back my laughter so as not to endanger my seventy dollar haircut.
Even if it weren’t an awesome haircut–which it is, Shanaz haircuts always are–it was worth the price just for the chance to gossip behind the backs of all those heteronormaholes.
Copious readers, please help us come up with responses to these statements:
“You just haven’t found the right person yet.”
“You must be gay. Are you gay?” (How do you answer if you’re straight and single? How do you answer if you’re gay and single?)
We’d also love to hear your responses to the other singlist questions discussed in this older post.