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The Onely Oath October 29, 2008

Posted by Onely in As If!, Food for Thought.
Tags: , , , ,

I was reminded of our post about couple zit-popping by this segment of Nick Bakay‘s amusing married-versus-single post: 

SINGLE: No one will ever know you spent the weekend watching a “mannix” marathon.
MARRIED: Someone to pop those hard-to-reach back zits.

 I have since heard of other couples who pop each others’ zits. I did not realize that this practice was so widespread. Copious Readership, something must be done! In an attempt to stop the rampant spread of this (editorializing alert! editorializing alert!) plainly gross habit, I propose the below Onely Oath:

The Onely Oath

I, Christina, being of sound mind and adequate complexion, do solemnly swear, that so long as I live, I will never, ever, pop another person’s pimple, unless the life, health, or emotional well-being of the pimpled individual is at stake. I acknowledge that the moment I pop my significant other’s pimple (with exception for above-detailed circumstances) is the moment I forfeit forever my Onely status. 

Who else wants to take the Onely Oath? Anyone? Anyone?



1. onely - October 29, 2008

OH! Me Too! Me Too! I have never before, and never will (I pledge it — not all that difficult!) pop someone else’s pimples for them. I don’t even pop my own, damnit! (I had such bad acne as a kid I know how bad popping said pimples can be for your skin)

— LA

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