Onely.Org

Not Alone, but Onely! December 30, 2008

Hola from San Jose, California, home of my parents. I am terribly jealous of Christina’s recent posts, b/c she is ALONE and I am not, and yet we are both Onely. Whenever I visit – which happens about twice a year – my parents do not leave me alone. I am their only daughter, and the one they can “count” on to hang out with them nonstop while I visit. I have always played the role of mediator and appeaser — so I let them absorb my presence as much as they want with few complaints, because, after all, it is the role I have *always* played, and we do live half a country apart most of the time (my bros live in nearby San Fran and LA, respectively). But this visit is making it more and more clear to me how much I genuinely enjoy being, quite literally, ALONE.

Before I left Louisville to spend the holiday with my parents, I was in a rush – first to finish final projects for my graduate classes, and then to complete a lengthy and intensive editing project, and then to prepare for the trip and buy gifts for my friends who are kindly taking care of my puppy while I’m out of town (thanks friends!). As a result, I had no Onely “down time” — time to spend alone with no major obligations on my plate — before leaving, and have had to be around parents/people/friends etc. ever since leaving home, and I am completely exhausted.

I do not always have this problem; in the past, when I had a week or so after the end of the semester to do my own thing before visiting the ‘rents, or when visiting during a time of generally low stress, I have not desired serious alone time. But today I do. I will crave it until I get back to my regular life and my regular puppy and my regular ONELY life. I am always impressed by people (such as Christina) who are able to demand  alone time even when spending days with friends/family. I have never been that kind of a person, so my Onely status seems necessary in order to make it through days and weeks like these.

Dear readers, how do you cope with days and weeks when you are obligated to spend time with others? In about half an hour, I won’t be alone again, so until I am, post your responses here and I will get to them when I can!!!

— L