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Great Onelers: Sylvia Williams of Temple Hills August 12, 2009

Posted by Onely in As If!, Food for Thought, Great Onelies in Real Time.
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2 comments

Yesterday the Washington Post had an article on Aging Well at All Ages. One of the four large faceshots on the front page of the Health section belonged to Sylvia Williams, 62, of Temple Hills. She is a counselor at Walker Mill Middle School. She says,

Being grateful and not trying to be a teenager again. Not trying to be younger than you are. It’s ok. And today’s my birthday. . . I’m single, no children and I guess that’s why I’m doing well.

Cheers to Sylvia.

Separately, I noticed how each of the photo captions mentioned three things about the person featured:  (more…)

Dear Quirkyalone… Single Role Models August 10, 2009

Posted by Onely in quirkyalone.
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16 comments

“Dear Quirkyalone: Advice for QuirkyLiving” is a weekly guest column by Lisa and Christina that debuts today on Quirkyalone and will appear every Monday (cross-posted on both sites). When you’re making up your own road map for (quirky)living, you need thoughtful advice. We’re here for you. We welcome your questions; send them on to onely AT onely.org.

Dear Quirkyalone,

Besides Oprah, who is a good model of single living in our culture? —Special K

Dear Special K,

Good question. I think it’s much easier to come up with examples of poor single role models than admirable ones. Momentarily blocked for ideas of my own, I googled “single role models.” Here’s a sampling from the first page of results:

Using Role Models to Succeed With Single Women

Lack of Male Role Models For Young Children From Single-Parent Families

They Were Single Too: 8 Biblical Role Models, by David M. Hoffeditz

“Oh dear,” I thought, “Surely there must have been a few notable singles since John the Baptist?” With Google apparently hijacked by heteronormatives, I was forced to actually search of my own brain for ideas. Here’s a sampling from those results:

Notable Singles Nowadays (more…)

TAKE ACTION: Speak Up For Health Care Reform August 8, 2009

Posted by Onely in As If!, blog reviews, Everyday Happenings, Singles Resource, Take action.
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1 comment so far

Check out yet another thorough and engaging post from Clever Elsie at Singletude, this time about the upcoming vote on HR 676, a bill supporting a single payer health care system, where we are all covered by ONE taxpayer-funded public source. (Ooh, how very Scandinavian!) As always, Singletude has done her research and explains why she is a fan of this bill. I am a fan of single-payer too, but my reasoning is based more on my gut than my head, so I encourage our Copious Readers to go to Singletude for more details.  (more…)

“True Forced Loneliness” = Crazy, Creepy, and Sad Sad Sad! August 6, 2009

Posted by Onely in Food for Thought.
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45 comments

If you’ve been watching the news, you’ve heard about the tragic and unsettling shooting of three women at a Pittsburgh gym by George Sodini. And now the media is digging up all kinds of evidence that illustrates not only that Sodini was mentally ill (duh), but also deeply misogynistic (check out this excellent article from Jezebel). Indeed, Sodini apparently maintained a blog, two Web sites and even posted YouTube videos that substantiate just how much he hated women, and this other article (also from Jezebel) makes a convincing case for why/how we should understand Sodini’s actions, as well as other recent mass murders, as a hate crime against women.

And if you start digging, Sodini’s complaints – that women are to blame for why he led such a miserable life – parallel complaints made by other misogynists, such as Roissy in DC, and hate movements, such as the (literally insane) group, True Forced Loneliness. (more…)

Nature or Nurture? August 4, 2009

Posted by Onely in Food for Thought, Heteronormativity.
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14 comments

I’m always intrigued by the relationship between “nature” and “culture” — how much of what we do and think in a particular place and time has to do with “straight” biology (pardon the pun), and how much has to do with the power of cultural values? This, of course, is the driving question that motivates a lot of what we do here at Onely, and so when I came across this article, which seeks to explain male/female mating habits according to evolutionary and biological “facts,” I found myself wondering, how much of this “makes sense” because of cultural norms/values, and how much is actually viable, scientific reasoning?

Take, for example, the following — which seems totally logical:

In young men, the selfish gene seeks to spread itself far and wide, mostly because it often can (and with minimal investment of resources) — hence, the rakish male tendency to love ’em and leave ’em. Women, on other hand, tend to be more discriminating. They’re the ones who have to carry the baby around for nine months, then nurse it to independence. In women, the selfish gene prefers a mate with both the wherewithal and the resources to stick around and raise the kid.

Okay, I thought. There’s not much to dispute here. But then, I read the “translation”:

“Men will be looking for short-term uncommitted relationships, women will be looking for relationship commitment,” said Kruger. “These are the things that have driven evolution. … Because of different interests, women offer a sexual relationship in exchange for commitment, and men offer commitment in exchange for sex.”

See, the thing is, while this explanation makes “logical” sense, it also seems to perpetuate a stereotype about the seemingly “inherent” differences between women and men. But perhaps more importantly, this explanation doesn’t take into account the “fact” of what I would call cultural evolution — (more…)

Worldwide Onelers: China’s Taiko–Nots. August 3, 2009

Posted by Onely in As If!, Look What Google Barfed Up, Secret Lives of the Happily Single, solo travel.
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8 comments

According to this BBC news article, Chinese taikonauts have to meet a series of criteria in order to go into space, including:

No Bad Breath!

No Body Odor!

No Scars That May Burst Open!

I understand the close confines of the spacecraft and fully support these criteria, having dated a guy with halitosis (though not, thank god, with exploding scars). But wait, there’s another requirement for taikonauts:

Your Spouse Must Approve!

(more…)