Why Date When You Can Write? April 29, 2009
Posted by Onely in Dating, Great Onely Activities, single and happy, We like. . ..Tags: being single, finding a boyfriend, Microsoft Word, relationship priorities, time-consuming hobbies, writing is hard
8 comments
I realized why I have so little interest in finding a boyfriend. It’s because I am already in a relationship. His name is Mike Rosoft Word. Yes, I am dating my writing. It is an emotionally exhausting relationship. I often feel I don’t deserve to be with Mike. I sometimes think about breaking if off. But I can’t. When we get along, it’s wonderful. When we aren’t meshing, though, I cry and gnash my teeth. I spend chunks of every weekend and several weeknights with Mike. You see, the more time I spend with him, the greater the chance that we’ll have one of our rare good spells. Last Saturday I told my friend Jess I couldn’t meet her for a movie because I was already planning to be with Mike that evening–even though I had just seen him the night before, and the night before that, too. I want to learn to garden, but Mike doesn’t like that (grit gets in his cracks), so I stay inside with him. (more…)
Super Saccharine: Seekingarrangements.com April 17, 2009
Posted by Onely in As If!, Dating, Food for Thought.Tags: Beth Bailey, feminism, heteronormative, power dynamic, Ruth Padawer, seekingarrangements.com, sugar baby, sugar daddy
14 comments
Lisa found an interesting New York Times article by Ruth Padawer about a web site that hooks rich men up with young, beautiful, financially strapped women, often college students working their way through school. The Sugar Daddies provide their Sugar Babies with money, gifts, trips, and swank (often under the euphemism “mentoring”) in exchange for companionship, sex, and arm candy.
Before I read the article, I thought I knew how I felt about this site, Seekingarrangements.com: Yuck! But the piece includes some very interesting quotes from users of the site, Seekingarrangement.com, that shed new light on the practice of being a daddy or a baby. After reading the article, my feelings about Seekingarrangements.com were: Still Yuck!
Whether or not you think this site amounts to prostitution (I’m not sure), it is undeniably perpetuating a sexist power dynamic. As Padawer says, “The ‘baby’ is the one who regulates her appearance, schedule, behavior and emotions to make the payer feel special.” (The baby is overwhelmingly female, and only one percent of the sugar daddies are actually sugar mommies).
I’ll paste a couple of the more interesting quotes from Padawer’s article below and let our Copious Readership weigh in. What do you all think? (more…)
Pop Culture, Scourge of the Onelys (Twice in a Week!): “I Vow” Commercials April 1, 2009
Posted by Onely in "Against Love"...?, As If!, Dating, Heteronormativity, Pop Culture: Scourge of the Onelys, Singled Out.Tags: "i vow", chemistry.com, Laura Kipnis, rhetoric of work, what's wrong with flannel nightgowns?!, zyrtec, zyrtec commercial
19 comments
OK. So I understand that Chemistry.com’s whole business revolves around assuming and promoting couple-dom as the most desirable relationship status. In order to do this, it’s no surprise that the company (and others like it) tends to promote stereotypes about and simultaneously degrade single people (see, for example, this offensive commercial).
But — as if that’s not enough — the newest series of Chemistry.com commercials, dubbed on YouTube as “Chemistry.com Vows,” presents two people mimicking wedding-ceremony protocol and normalizes the matrimaniacal tendencies of American culture. (more…)
Pop Culture, Scourge of the Onelies (cross-listed as Guilty Pleasure no. 72x.5): Millionaire Matchmaker February 20, 2009
Posted by Onely in As If!, Dating, Heteronormativity, Pop Culture: Scourge of the Onelys.Tags: bravo tv, compulsory heterosexuality, guilty pleasures, heteronormativeholes, match THIS!, millionaire matchmaker, nature/culture, nostalgia, we love being single
5 comments
On Wednesday, Christina wrote a confessional post — and now it’s my turn: Ladies and Gentlemen, I must confess that sometimes, after a long Thursday, when I just want to kick back, have a beer, and relax in front of the TV, I watch Bravo’s The Millionaire Matchmaker.
OH I KNOW — you can stop throwing tomatoes at your computer screens (seriously, STOP – your computer will crash and I want you to read the rest of this post!)… I admit it, I’m horrible!! But it’s like … looking at the sun: The show just oozes with so many god-awful heteronormative-hole assumptions, I can’t muster up the strength to look away!
The Oneliness of the Long Distance Writer January 22, 2009
Posted by Onely in Dating, Food for Thought, Great Onely Activities.Tags: alan sillitoe, joyce carol oates, single writers, singlewriters.com, slow writer, solitary, writing is hard
13 comments
I’ve been thinking about how writing is so solitary. And about how writing is such a slow process. Solitary plus slow equals lots of time spent by myself, perhaps–perhaps!–even more than suits my introverted nature.
‘Course maybe my writing goes slowly because I spend so much time staring at the screen thinking about how my writing goes slowly. When I’m working on a particularly grueling, stubborn, stiff-dictioned story, I sometimes wonder if it’s worth the effort. Writing one polished page may take hours (Joyce Carol Oates, bite me) before it’s ready to be submitted to some publication that may or may not want it, more likely the latter.
Would my time be more wisely spent going out with my friends? Sometimes I wonder this, when I’m sitting wedged between my laptop and my massage chair (I know, poor me), typing at an average rate of one click per minute–and that’s if you include all my backspaces. (more…)
Thoughts on Singelringen, Anyone? January 12, 2009
Posted by Onely in Dating, Food for Thought, Great Onely Activities.Tags: engagement ring, engagement ring sexist, marriage, multiple translations, proud to be single, Singelringen, wedding ring, weddings
13 comments
We are intriged by the idea of Singelringen, a ring that single people buy to support the mantra that,
“I am not alone. I am Single.”
We think it’s a great core concept. At first glance, Singelringen represents a healthy commitment to and acceptance of one’s self, even when single in a coupled world. The ring
“Reminds the single man or woman that they are already complete while open to possibilities.”
However (and there’s always a however, isn’t there?),
(more…)
Love and the Single Wallet January 5, 2009
Posted by Onely in As If!, Dating.Tags: christian dior poison, dna dating, gene partner, pricing discrimination, scientific match, single dating, singlism
3 comments
Copious Readership, how much do you judge your date by their smell? I’m not talking about those awkward moments involving halitosis, or “But I didn’t play raquetball hard enough today to need a shower,” or Christian Dior’s Poison. I mean the actual body odor underneath the bacteria.
Do you think that scientists can analyze daters’ DNA to match them with genetically compatible significant others? The theory goes that we are attracted to partners whose immune systems have key differences from ours, (more…)
Great Onelies in Real Time: Veronica Dylan December 22, 2008
Posted by Onely in blog reviews, Dating, Great Onelies in Real Time, Profiles, Reviews.Tags: california, costa rica, divorce network, divorced, so over you, throwing things, veronica dylan
1 comment so far
Lisa and I are doing our Onely thing in California and Costa Rica, respectively. A few days ago, at the resort where I was staying on the southwest Pacific coast, I had the good fortune to meet another Great Onely: Veronica Dylan, who owns a rockin’ sparkle blouse and also blogs with honesty and humor about life after divorce.
I like her blog “So Over You” for a couple reasons (in addition to the blouse!): (more…)
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