Sex, So What? May 29, 2009
Posted by Onely in Bad Onely Activities, Dating, Everyday Happenings, Food for Thought, sex.Tags: animal sex, happy and sexless, indifferent celibacy, involuntary celibacy, voluntary celibacy
26 comments
On the heels of Lisa’s dealbreakers post that talked about Involuntary Celibacy (a term that we may define differently than others do), we wanted to discuss Indifferent Celibacy. As Bella DePaulo said in her recent sex post ,
Those who simply care less – or not at all – about sex are marginalized by contemporary sexual norms.
I postulate that it’s easier to be happily single if you don’t care about sex. Just like it’s easier to be skinny if you don’t care about marzipan.
Of course, people will ask, “What kind of a repressed person doesn’t want marzipan at least once a month?” or “Don’t you know that inadequate intake of marzipan leads to intellectual and physical stagnation?”
But Freud is dead, people.
I am pretty indifferent to sex. (more…)
Here Comes the Bra May 15, 2009
Posted by Onely in As If!, Everyday Happenings, Look What Google Barfed Up.Tags: husband-hunting bra, marriage countdown, wierd japanese stuff
7 comments
Nobody does bizarre like the Japanese. We already covered Japan’s rent-a-spouse concept and are pleased to see that they have made further strides in the love industry with the husband-hunting aka “konkatsu” bra!
Triumph publicist Keiko Masuda said of the bra, which features a self-set counter: “First you decide your target time or deadline until marriage and the countdown clock will start.
“Once you find your life partner and get engaged, you have to insert the engagement ring into the slot and the clock stops and The Wedding March begins.”
I had to read that yahoo news snippet three times, plus several other iterations from different articles, before I understood the bra. Allow me to interpret for you: the bride-wannabe sets a timer on the bra for the date or time (unclear) when she wants her fiance to propose. The timer is a clock that ticks down like a bomb in a James Bond movie. If the guy proposes before the digits hit zero, he can take the ring and stick it in the pink slot (subtle, subtle) between the bra cups to cause the Wedding March song to play. Here’s a video with demo. As you would imagine, it’s completely unsexist and inoffensive.
“But what if he doesn’t propose?” you might well ask. “What if the time runs out? What happens then?” That’s the odd thing. None of the articles I read explained what the bra does if no one sticks a ring into it before the deadline. The yahoo piece said it “resets” automatically. But what song does it play? Or does a horrendous screeching buzzer go off like the sound of old maids screaming as their starving cats maul them? Does it reset for the same amount of time originally chosen, or shorter, putting on the pressure because you’re not getting any younger?
Kudos to any Copious Readers who can find out what happens if the man doesn’t propose! Other than that the woman turns into a pillar of cat food.
–Christina
Onelers Gone Wild: Lisa Does Great Britain May 10, 2009
Posted by Onely in Bad Onely Activities, Everyday Happenings, Great Onely Activities, single and happy, solo travel, We like. . ..Tags: isle of man, london and cambridge, lost passport, lost wallet, singles travel, solo travel
13 comments
Copious Readers, Lisa posted via email from her solo travel adventure:
Hello from Cambridge, England!
So my first Onely international trip is going pretty well — except for one thing: My wallet got stolen. In the restroom (or toilet, as the Brits call it) of a London bus station during a two-hour layover between buses (from Liverpool, to Cambridge). It only took a few seconds — I left the bathroom and realized almost immediately that my wallet was not in my hands – and by the time I turned around, the wallet was gone. I lost my passport, my debit card, about $75 (US equivalent), my KY driver’s license, a UK-unlimited bus pass worth $160 or so, and 25 postcard stamps (worth £15 or about $25!) with which I was going to begin mailing postcards today.
Luckily I followed the advice of my Let’s Go! travel guide and had made a copy of my passport before I left, and also took along another credit card, as well as about $100 in traveler’s checks, all of which I kept separate from my wallet, and which are the only reason I was able to get to Cambridge and also did not have a complete breakdown in London.
The friend I am staying with here in Cambridge pointed out that it was probably because I was alone that I had the momentary lapse of concentration and left the wallet behind. The bus from Liverpool to London was overnight, and so I was drowsy and frazzled, ready to get to my next destination — not to mention that I had a gigantic bag to manage as I maneuvered the tiny bathroom stall! My friend travels internationally all the time, and says that this specific problem is the thing that bothers her the most about traveling alone — there’s no one you trust to wait outside the bathroom with your bags. 😦
Oh well. A trip to the American Embassy in London is now in order, bright and early Monday morning. Luckily I had plans to finish the last few days of my trip in London anyway — I just hope that this small excursion doesn’t detract from what will otherwise be a fun last few days of my holiday (also another UK phrase). Besides this rather upsetting glitch in the plans, my trip so far has been excellent — and I have only been truly alone a few days, thanks to having two friends to visit… I have been to the Isle of Man, all across Northern Ireland and parts of Ireland, and spent a very full and wonderful day in Liverpool.
I’ll be back soon to add my regular two cents to Onely — in the meantime, hope all is well!!!
Cheerio!
— L
P.S. Christina here. My stomach just plunged when I read this story. But Lisa handled the situtation so well! My version would have incorporated far more tears and swear words. (Maybe she edited those out; I don’t know.) I definitely agree with Lisa’s friend that having to haul all your bags into those bathroom stalls is soooo annoying, as well as a germophobe’s (me) nightmare. Does anyone else have travel horror stories? Were you travelling alone? How did your status as a solo traveller inform the incident?
Onely Commits Two Singlisms in One Day March 26, 2009
Posted by Onely in As If!, Bad Onely Activities, Everyday Happenings.Tags: chips and dip, single homeowner, single hostess, singlism, trader joe's
13 comments
OH NO! Onely committed singlism twice in one day!
The first time was in Trader Joe’s:
“My writing group’s coming to my house for the first time tomorrow, so I’m shopping for really great snacks,” I told one of the staff with whom I’m pretty friendly. “I’m nervous because they all have these big, clean, decorated houses and I have. . . well, not to stereotype,” (and so you know I’m going to go ahead and stereotype) “but I live in a single girl townhome.” (more…)
“OneTouch” Ad Commits Two “Isms” in Two Lines March 23, 2009
Posted by Onely in As If!, Everyday Happenings, Heteronormativity, Just Saying..Tags: brad and angelina, diabetes, lesbian marriage, lifescan, marriage mythology, Onetouch, onetouch chris, sexist wedding traditions, single people, singlism in advertising
16 comments
(David-i98, Wikicommons)
Usually doctors’ waiting room magazines are where I look for my Brad and Angelina updates, but the other day I happened upon something else: an ad for OneTouch Diabetes Monitor that double-dips into singlism and sexism. Yay!
In the print ad, the headline across the man’s face reads, “Chris. Newly diagonosed. Motivated. Father.” Then in smaller text, Chris himself says,
I’m only three weeks into being a guy with diabetes, so I’m learning to check my blood sugar. Why? Maya, my four and a half year old daughter. I will dance at her wedding.
Long Distance Relationships March 11, 2009
Posted by Onely in As If!, Everyday Happenings, Food for Thought, Great Onely Activities, Heteronormativity, single and happy.Tags: heteronormaholes, independence in relationship, long distance relationship, overseas relationship, short distance relationship
18 comments
My ex-boyfriend broke up with me because he was “tired of coming home alone”. At the time, he lived in Florida and I lived in beautiful Northern Virginia. He said he wanted to date someone (anyone!) in his own city for a change, so that he wouldn’t have to come home alone most nights. Of course our breakup also involved other incompatiblities (for example, I wasn’t an asshole, and he was), but the coming-home-alone thing shocked me more than anything else. One of the things I had loved about our long-distance relationship (LDR) was that I had so much private space, which included coming home alone most nights.
I think that people with a Onely mindset tend to not mind LDRs as much as other people do. In fact, I think that we even specifically seek out LDRs. Some people (generally heteronormaholes) might see this as unhealthy, because they view LDRs as inherently inferior to, whaddyacallem, short distance relationships (SDRs). But as we can see from paragraph one, LDRs are only a problem if the people involved have different ways of regarding distance. (more…)
MEA CULPA: Onely Commits Couplism February 18, 2009
Posted by Onely in Bad Onely Activities, Everyday Happenings, Food for Thought.Tags: couplism, nintendo, scottish society of paranormal investigation and analysis, singlism, SSPIA, wii
22 comments
Hailes Castle Confessional, from SSPIA
Bless me, Copious Readers, for I have sinned. I have committed egregious acts of couplism and heteronormativity, of the kind that we here at Onely love to decry and make fun of when they are committed against us.
A security officer at my work, whom I knew to be divorced, was telling me about how his daughters got a Nintendo Wii for Christmas and how they spent his day off playing with it. I made some comment about how his girls won’t want to go home now–because I was assuming that they were staying at his house on vacation and lived with their mom the rest of their time. He corrected me right quick, saying “No, actually I have custody.” Um. (more…)
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How to Crash the Pity Party: YOUR RESPONSES REQUESTED April 27, 2009
Posted by Onely in As If!, Everyday Happenings, Your Responses Requested!.Tags: annoying couples, annoying questions, are you dating anyone?, are you seeing anyone?, pity single people, rude comments to singles
25 comments
Back in March, Mishi commented on our post “Where’s your boyfriend? When are you getting married?”, but somehow Lisa and I didn’t see her great comment until just now. So we’re reposting it now and asking for our Copious Readership’s thoughts. She describes a scenario I have experienced many times over, and each time I’m equally befuddled:
Christina
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