The World’s Oneliest House July 29, 2009
Posted by Onely in Dating, Food for Thought, Great Onely Activities, I want to..., single and happy, solo travel.Tags: couple living arrangements, creapy, independent couple, paranormal investigation, point lookout lighthouse
4 comments
Point Lookout Lighthouse in Maryland is the world’s oneliest house. It sits on a rocky outcropping that juts into the confluence of the Potomac River and the Chesapeake Bay. I went there with my paranormal investigations group (a story for another blog at another time), and it’s a truly spooky, isolated location. But that’s not why it’s a onely place. What struck me about the lighthouse was that it had been modified so that two keepers’ families could live there together. A wall was built down the center of the house. The wall turned into a railing that crossed the front porch and went right down the middle of the short staircase leading from the lawn to the front of the house. The house had two front doors on the porch, one on each side of the railing. The two families could walk up their respective sides of the steps and enter their respective mirror-image houses, dine in their mirror-image dining rooms and sleep in their respective bedrooms, and never cross paths except in one shared alcove to which they each had lockable doors. That alcove accessed the spiral staircase leading to the light tower. (more…)
More on Marriage… July 27, 2009
Posted by Onely in "Against Love"...?, Food for Thought, single and happy.Tags: alternet amy williams, fundamentalism, marital privilege, religious rhetoric, resistance to marriage, the kooks naive, therese the unmarried estate, why not get married
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So, Copious Readers. Ya’ll (that’s how we say it in Kentucky) have got me thinking.
Last week, we solicited your thoughts on whether it’s tacky or tasteful to throw a party for oneself and register for gifts. We got a wide variety of responses, and our conversation prompted one of our regular readers, Autonomous, to link us to an article on Alternet called “I Don’t Believe in Marriage — Here’s Why I (Grudgingly) Got Married Anyway.” And that article reminded me of fellow singles-advocate-blogger Therese’s recent post about why she’s decided to get married after being in a long-term relationship with the same person. And then this weekend, I had a long, impassioned conversation with a (married) friend of mine who wanted me to explain why I didn’t plan to ever get married.
Here’s what I told her (in so many words):
(more…)
Selfish or Spot On? The Single Person’s Registry July 21, 2009
Posted by Onely in "Against Love"...?, Food for Thought, Your Responses Requested!.Tags: marrying myself, sex and the city, single woman's registry, singles registries, too many shoes
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This summer, the topic of weddings has come up repeatedly here at Onely, and, since much of our discussion has centered on the negative aspects of the matrimonial tradition, it seems appropriate to conclude the season on a more positive note and consider the possibility of reclaiming parts of the tradition for ourselves.
If one decides not to wed, is it appropriate to throw a wedding for oneself?
In one memorable episode of Sex and the City, Carrie famously did. And some time ago, Christina found a company that specializes in the single woman’s registry. At a separate site, Halfbakery.com (a site for half-baked ideas?), someone suggested that the newly divorced create a registry where friends can buy all the goods that the ex took. (more…)
Don’t Call Me Mrs.! July 17, 2009
Posted by Onely in "Against Love"...?, Food for Thought.Tags: authority in the classroom, feminist perspectives, Ms. vs. Mrs., politics of language, titles for professors, women in literature
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I did something unusual the other day: I told my students not to call me Mrs. 
As I’ve mentioned in the past, I’m pursuing a Ph.D. in Rhetoric and Composition (a subfield of English), and as part of my fellowship, I’m required to teach regularly. Last week, I began teaching a summer version of a course called Women in Literature. I always begin a new class by explaining to my students what they should call me — in part because I look very young, in part because I don’t have my Ph.D. yet, and in part because I hate receiving emails without an address (“Dear ____, … “). So I spend a few minutes describing their choices: They can call me Lisa. They can call me Ms. ____ (my last name). They can call me Professor ____ (though I always feel compelled to explain that technically, I’m not yet a professor). They can call me, as one of my students cleverly did last fall, Future Dr. ____ (my personal favorite). The main thing, I usually explain, is that they call me something.
Except for Mrs. (more…)
First, Do No Heteronormativity: Onely at the Doctor’s July 9, 2009
Posted by Onely in As If!, Dating, Everyday Happenings, Food for Thought.Tags: divorced widowed single, new patient form, singles' health, supportive relationship
14 comments
My new doctor’s office provides holistic care based on an assessment of the patient’s physique, mentality, and life circumstances, as opposed to just treating isolated symptoms. It’s a progressive office, so I was intrigued to read this question on their patient intake form:
Are you? [ ] married [ ] divorced [ ] widowed [ ] single [ ] in a supportive relationship? (more…)
What Did Your Parents Teach You about Relationships? (A Discussion) July 6, 2009
Posted by Onely in Food for Thought, Guest Posts.Tags: happy and single, marriage, parental influence, parents, relationships, single-or-not
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Recently, fellow singles blogger, Special K, offered to collaborate with us on a special post in which the three of us wrote brief responses to the question, “What did your parents teach you about relationships?”
You’ll note that we each hold markedly different perspectives on the issue, and we hope you’ll offer your own below!
Special K says:
“Sheesh, nothing,” one muttered… Well, that’s not exactly true. Like parenting, most people’s parents leave an impression on things you’d like to do that they did, and things that you’d like NOT to do that they did. Parents are powerful role models (we can talk about other role models another time) as well as mirrors for our own relationships. So here’s the thing: whether single or married, with kids, or with dog, your parents matter to your current single-or-not status. Period. (more…)
Worldwide Onelers: Afghanistan July 3, 2009
Posted by Onely in Dating, Food for Thought, Great Onely Activities, Honorary Onely Awards, We like. . ..Tags: afghanistan singles, extreme ways to get a date, international singles, npr morning edition, single privilege, women's rights
4 comments
In this NPR Morning Edition broadcast, an Afghan woman randomly dialed numbers until a young man picked up at the other end. Over several weeks they exchanged multiple giddy phone calls, talking about their lives and eventually becoming boyfriend and girlfriend–but always and only over the telephone. Eventually their calls tapered off, but for a while they defied the convention in Afghanistan, where according to the broadcast single men and women just don’t mingle.
I got to thinking how privileged we all are here in the U.S. (and other places) to actually have a choice of whether to be single or not. (more…)
Academic Alert! Michael Cobb’s “Lonely” June 24, 2009
Posted by Onely in "Against Love"...?, Academic Alert!, Essay review, Food for Thought, Reviews, single and happy, Singles Resource, We like. . ..Tags: couples and terror, hannah arendt, loneliness my ass, michael cobb, queer theory, singles and sex, south atlantic quarterly, the origins of totatitarianism
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We here at Onely–as well as our Copious Readership– have always known that society’s obsession with coupling is “toxic” and a form of “terrorism”. But now we’ve found an established literary theorist who has expressed this idea using those very words, albeit articulated in academic language.
As most of our regular readers know, I am currently working on a Ph.D. in a Rhetoric and Composition. This summer, one of my major tasks is to compose proposals and reading lists for two of the three exams I will take in the fall. One of my exams will focus on feminist and queer theory — and as I was doing research for the reading list last week, I came across an article in the South Atlantic Quarterly called “Lonely,” written by Michael Cobb. Cobb, who specializes in queer and critical theory, is interested, as the title indicates, in the effects of American culture’s stigmatization of singles.
Onely.Org 