Priesthood, Celibacy, and Being Onely January 14, 2009
Posted by Onely in "Against Love"...?, Food for Thought, Heteronormativity, single and happy, Your Responses Requested!.Tags: catholicism, compulsory heterosexuality, Heteronormativity, marriage as sacrament, priesthood, single and awesome
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Christina recently pointed me to this very interesting article from the BBC about a priest reflecting on his choice to remain single. Father John Abberton explains that his decision to become a priest was a “positive thing not a negative thing.” In fact,
When I was sixteen and was thinking ahead to what my future would be, I certainly had images of myself as a married man with children. I don’t remember ever struggling with the denial of that. It was a progression into an attitude where I saw myself as being available to as many people as I could be available to and giving myself to the church.
Like many single people, Father John has chosen an admirable occupation and has devoted himself to work that he is passionate about and through which he can enhance the world around him in some very positive ways.
But then Father John’s tone changes slightly, as he compares himself to others who are single (but, ostensibly, not priests?):
I am single for a purpose and my feeling is in someway or another everyone who is single should be single for a purpose. I know there are some people who remain single because they say that is what they want. Although I don’t want to judge people, I think there is a worrying trend in some quarters of society towards a selfish single state.
Thoughts on Singelringen, Anyone? January 12, 2009
Posted by Onely in Dating, Food for Thought, Great Onely Activities.Tags: engagement ring, engagement ring sexist, marriage, multiple translations, proud to be single, Singelringen, wedding ring, weddings
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We are intriged by the idea of Singelringen, a ring that single people buy to support the mantra that,
“I am not alone. I am Single.”
We think it’s a great core concept. At first glance, Singelringen represents a healthy commitment to and acceptance of one’s self, even when single in a coupled world. The ring
“Reminds the single man or woman that they are already complete while open to possibilities.”
However (and there’s always a however, isn’t there?),
(more…)
“So, what are you wearing right now?” January 10, 2009
Posted by Onely in Everyday Happenings, We like. . ..Tags: benefits to being single, pajama gram, putting on pajamas
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My pink fuzzy pajamas, covered with little nobbins of black fuzz left over from their monkey business in the drier with my new black sweatshirt.
My single coworker said that she loves coming home and putting on her pajamas right away. “I couldn’t do that if I had to come home to someone,” she said, citing her married friend who was envious of my coworker’s ability to come straight home and strip.
I told her I do the same thing–in the door, off with the slacks! Aaahhhhhhhhhh. I also told her she needed to check out pajamagrams. And that she should not throw them in the drier with a new black sweatshirt.
–CC
Stop the Madness! Onely’s Top Ten Reasons NOT to Get Married… January 9, 2009
Posted by Onely in "Against Love"...?, As If!, Food for Thought, Heteronormativity, single and happy.Tags: bunko, matrimania, single and happy, stop the madness!, weddings
17 comments
Hi everyone,
As I mentioned in my previous post about heteronormative wedding cards, part of my holiday madness included attending and participating in the wedding of one of my good friends. Every time I go to a wedding, I can’t help but count the many reasons why I never want to get married (and/or have a wedding). This one was no different — and because my friend IS a close friend who also happens to like to control everything in her life, the reasons I normally have against weddings seemed magnified in this case.
So, in the spirit of all of us who feel justified never wanting a wedding of our own, Onely presents … “Stop the Madness! Top Ten Reasons We Never Want to Get Married”: (more…)
Great Onelies in Real Time: Shanaz (YOUR RESPONSES REQUESTED) January 8, 2009
Posted by Onely in As If!, Everyday Happenings, Food for Thought, Great Onelies in Real Time, Heteronormativity, Profiles, Your Responses Requested!.Tags: gay, haircut, homophobia, iranian politics, lesbian, single, singlism
7 comments
This evening my hairdresser and I talked about being Onely. Shanaz likes men but is more interested in friends, her hair artistry, her daughter, her writing (Persian language commentary on Iranian politics), and just life. “I’m happiest without a boyfriend,” she says. At forty-something, she’s been married and coupled and single and even accidentally involved with a married man. And she chooses single.
But you know what’s coming next, don’t you? (more…)
“No Fun Being One!”: Pop Culture, Scourge of the Onelys, Part 37.423x January 7, 2009
Posted by Onely in "Against Love"...?, As If!, Heteronormativity, Just Saying., Pop Culture: Scourge of the Onelys, Singled Out.Tags: 123greetings.com, hallmark, industry, matrimony, thank god i'm single, wedding cards, weddings
3 comments
Hi everyone,
I’m back after two long weeks being busy with friends and family. During my many travels, I made a stop in St. Louis to participate in a good friend’s wedding. Every time I go to a wedding, I find myself enumerating the many reasons why I don’t want one of my own. I’ll post more about this later this week, but I first want to describe my experience looking for a wedding card to include with my gift for the wedding. 
It was late Friday night, after the rehearsal dinner and a couple glasses of wine, and I stopped in at a Walgreen’s to find a card in a hurry. But as I looked through them, I found I couldn’t make a decision quite as fast as I’d hoped, because nearly every card contained a decidedly anti-Onely message, some version of either 1) Good riddance to the single life!, or 2) Cheers to the beginning of a “new” life!
Love and the Single Wallet January 5, 2009
Posted by Onely in As If!, Dating.Tags: christian dior poison, dna dating, gene partner, pricing discrimination, scientific match, single dating, singlism
3 comments
Copious Readership, how much do you judge your date by their smell? I’m not talking about those awkward moments involving halitosis, or “But I didn’t play raquetball hard enough today to need a shower,” or Christian Dior’s Poison. I mean the actual body odor underneath the bacteria.
Do you think that scientists can analyze daters’ DNA to match them with genetically compatible significant others? The theory goes that we are attracted to partners whose immune systems have key differences from ours, (more…)
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