Pop Culture, Scourge of the Onelys (Twice in a Week!): “I Vow” Commercials April 1, 2009
Posted by Onely in "Against Love"...?, As If!, Dating, Heteronormativity, Pop Culture: Scourge of the Onelys, Singled Out.Tags: "i vow", chemistry.com, Laura Kipnis, rhetoric of work, what's wrong with flannel nightgowns?!, zyrtec, zyrtec commercial
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OK. So I understand that Chemistry.com’s whole business revolves around assuming and promoting couple-dom as the most desirable relationship status. In order to do this, it’s no surprise that the company (and others like it) tends to promote stereotypes about and simultaneously degrade single people (see, for example, this offensive commercial).
But — as if that’s not enough — the newest series of Chemistry.com commercials, dubbed on YouTube as “Chemistry.com Vows,” presents two people mimicking wedding-ceremony protocol and normalizes the matrimaniacal tendencies of American culture. (more…)
Let’s Get This Over With As Quickly As Possible Day February 13, 2009
Posted by Onely in "Against Love"...?, As If!, Food for Thought, Heteronormativity, single and happy, Singled Out, Your Responses Requested!.Tags: feminist, hallmark, international quirkyalone day, LGTOWAQAP, new year's resolutions, nut sucking, progressive, singles awareness day, take our poll!, valentine's day, we love being single
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This is Onely’s first Valentine’s Day! Pt-oo! And that is us spitting on the Hallmark and De Beers mudworms who warped the holiday into its current overcommercialized incarnation.
What can Onely say about V-day, aka Let’s Get This Over With as Quickly As Possible Day, that hasn’t been said already? “The holiday is insulting to singles”; “not insulting to singles”; “worth celebrating”; “not worth celebrating” — blah, blah. (more…)
Onely Eats February 9, 2009
Posted by Onely in "Against Love"...?, Food for Thought, Your Responses Requested!.Tags: annie's mac and cheese, eating healthy and being single, meals for one, michael pollan, omnivore's dilemma
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For the last week or so, I have been RAVENOUS. I don’t know why. I have been consuming way too many carbs, as I know I shouldn’t, but those don’t fill me up either. Since I live alone, I don’t have anyone to cook for me or to share my food with. Sometimes, this means I don’t eat well, or at all, or at the right times, or in the right quantities. A lot of times I don’t get the nutrients I need. And when I do cook, it’s difficult to know how much to cook — usually I prepare more food than I need for a single meal and freeze everything that’s extra. I find myself wasting perishable food that can’t be frozen (like dairy), because I can’t eat it all before it spoils.
Priesthood, Celibacy, and Being Onely January 14, 2009
Posted by Onely in "Against Love"...?, Food for Thought, Heteronormativity, single and happy, Your Responses Requested!.Tags: catholicism, compulsory heterosexuality, Heteronormativity, marriage as sacrament, priesthood, single and awesome
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Christina recently pointed me to this very interesting article from the BBC about a priest reflecting on his choice to remain single. Father John Abberton explains that his decision to become a priest was a “positive thing not a negative thing.” In fact,
When I was sixteen and was thinking ahead to what my future would be, I certainly had images of myself as a married man with children. I don’t remember ever struggling with the denial of that. It was a progression into an attitude where I saw myself as being available to as many people as I could be available to and giving myself to the church.
Like many single people, Father John has chosen an admirable occupation and has devoted himself to work that he is passionate about and through which he can enhance the world around him in some very positive ways.
But then Father John’s tone changes slightly, as he compares himself to others who are single (but, ostensibly, not priests?):
I am single for a purpose and my feeling is in someway or another everyone who is single should be single for a purpose. I know there are some people who remain single because they say that is what they want. Although I don’t want to judge people, I think there is a worrying trend in some quarters of society towards a selfish single state.
Stop the Madness! Onely’s Top Ten Reasons NOT to Get Married… January 9, 2009
Posted by Onely in "Against Love"...?, As If!, Food for Thought, Heteronormativity, single and happy.Tags: bunko, matrimania, single and happy, stop the madness!, weddings
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Hi everyone,
As I mentioned in my previous post about heteronormative wedding cards, part of my holiday madness included attending and participating in the wedding of one of my good friends. Every time I go to a wedding, I can’t help but count the many reasons why I never want to get married (and/or have a wedding). This one was no different — and because my friend IS a close friend who also happens to like to control everything in her life, the reasons I normally have against weddings seemed magnified in this case.
So, in the spirit of all of us who feel justified never wanting a wedding of our own, Onely presents … “Stop the Madness! Top Ten Reasons We Never Want to Get Married”: (more…)
“No Fun Being One!”: Pop Culture, Scourge of the Onelys, Part 37.423x January 7, 2009
Posted by Onely in "Against Love"...?, As If!, Heteronormativity, Just Saying., Pop Culture: Scourge of the Onelys, Singled Out.Tags: 123greetings.com, hallmark, industry, matrimony, thank god i'm single, wedding cards, weddings
3 comments
Hi everyone,
I’m back after two long weeks being busy with friends and family. During my many travels, I made a stop in St. Louis to participate in a good friend’s wedding. Every time I go to a wedding, I find myself enumerating the many reasons why I don’t want one of my own. I’ll post more about this later this week, but I first want to describe my experience looking for a wedding card to include with my gift for the wedding. 
It was late Friday night, after the rehearsal dinner and a couple glasses of wine, and I stopped in at a Walgreen’s to find a card in a hurry. But as I looked through them, I found I couldn’t make a decision quite as fast as I’d hoped, because nearly every card contained a decidedly anti-Onely message, some version of either 1) Good riddance to the single life!, or 2) Cheers to the beginning of a “new” life!
Structures of Belief: It’s Damn Hard to Believe a Oneler! September 5, 2008
Posted by Onely in "Against Love"...?, Food for Thought, Heteronormativity.Tags: abnormality, being single and happy, English 101, freshmen, lies
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So a friend of mine, Laura (who has commented here in the past), told me yesterday that she was leading her English 101 students in a discussion of an essay written by a woman who was single and happy being that way. Her students expressed disbelief: Yeah, right, they said. We don’t believe it. Then Laura referenced me, apparently, as a “real” example of such a phenomenon, and one of her students exclaimed, “Well she must be lying! Do you really believe that she doesn’t see people kissing and miss being in a relationship?” (more…)
Onely: by Chance or by Choice? Christina’s Perspective August 29, 2008
Posted by Onely in "Against Love"...?, Dating, Food for Thought, I want to....Tags: adventures, being alone, breakups, choosing singlehood, exploring, hobie cat
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To answer my own question, I’m Onely by chance AND by choice!
I don’t have a lot of CHANCES to meet men. For years, chronic health problems have forced me to spend a lot of time lying down. If I don’t get a four-hour nap on Saturday and a four-hour nap on Sunday, I will likely have trouble functioning during the subsequent workweek. I can’t drink alcohol. I can’t do cardio sports unless I have days of recovery time. I can only go out one night a weekend unless I want to risk consequences. That’s all chance. BUT: (more…)
Lisa’s Perspective: Onely by Chance or by Choice? August 27, 2008
Posted by Onely in "Against Love"...?, Dating, Food for Thought.Tags: adventures, being alone, breakups, choosing singlehood, Dating, exploring
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Christina posted a thought-provoking question last night: Are you/we/I Onely by Chance or by Choice? Here’s my response: (more…)
Onely.Org 