Living Single Blog: Check It Out!! July 12, 2008
Posted by Onely in Singled Out, We like. . ..Tags: bella depaulo, living single blog, rhetoric
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Christina and I were so excited to hear from Bella DePaulo (author of Singled Out: How Singles are Stereotyped, Stigmatized, and Ignored, and Still Live Happily Ever After [2006] and inventor of the term “singlism”) after Christina mentioned her in a recent post that we couldn’t wait to say more about DePaulo (our review of DePaulo’s book will be posted soon – as Christina says, “stay tuned”!). So, after a quick perusal of her personal Web site, we discovered that DePaulo also writes a weekly blog, Living Single, for Pyschology Today. (more…)
BOOK REVIEW: Full Frontal Feminism, by Jessica Valenti July 11, 2008
Posted by Onely in book review, Reviews.Tags: Books, feminism, feministing, full frontal feminism, jessica valenti
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Valenti, Jessica. Full Frontal Feminism: A Young Woman’s Guide to Why Feminism Matters. Seal Press, 2007:
“Value yourself for what the media doesn’t–your intelligence, your street smarts, your ability to play a kick-ass game of pool, whatever. So long as it’s not just valuing yourself for your ability to look hot in a bikini and be available to men, it’s an improvement.”
Full Frontal Feminism‘s text skips along while it imparts knowledge–a rare enough combination. The book condenses the contents of a thirteen-page bibliography into colloquial prose, presenting vivid example after vivid example of why we all (women *and* men) need to identify as feminists and buck the ridiculous stereotype that feminists are always hairy-legged man-haters. (Not that it isn’t sometimes delightful to forego shaving for weeks on end during the winter.) (more…)
Funny (Freaky?) Friday July 11, 2008
Posted by Onely in As If!, Pop Culture: Scourge of the Onelys.Tags: fate, free will, god, Heteronormativity, luke... you cannot escape your destiny, oedipus, panic, statistics
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One of my favorite routines in the morning is to check out the dating advice provided by MSN (and its affiliates such as Match.com, Chemistry, Redbook, and Cosmopolitan) and to laugh and laugh… Since it’s Friday and I’m back from my long week out of town, I figured I’d pass along the humor. I’m 29 and Onely… Why am I not panicking? This article tells me I *should* be: (more…)
Stay tuned: Singlism July 9, 2008
Posted by Onely in Food for Thought, Singled Out.Tags: discrimination, singlism
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A quick Google search tells us that social psychologist Bella DePaulo coined the term “singlism”, meaning discrimination against singles. Did you know that singlism is not only an emotional component of our society, but is actually institutionalized? (more…)
My Love Reminder! or, the origins of Onely July 8, 2008
Posted by Onely in Everyday Happenings.Tags: breakup, flowers, FTD, heteronormative, i love being single
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Oh, karma. A year ago my boyfriend broke up with me for the second time, when he discovered that I’d been dating someone else–while we were broken up the first time. At the time of that second breakup, I was not in a very Onely place and I actually–shudder–tried to apologize by sending him flowers from FTD! Not long afterward, I managed to scrape together the remnants of my pride and reason, and I moved on to Oneliness. Until. (There’s always an until, isn’t there?) (more…)
Onely and Nut-sucking July 6, 2008
Posted by Onely in Great Onely Activities.Tags: cashews, single activities, single and happy
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I think Lisa intends to write something about how being Onely doesn’t mean not ever being lonely, or not ever considering a relationship, or not ever thinking it might be nice to find someone you truly connect with. True, true. But here is one of the many things that being Onely *does* mean: Onely means that you can open a jar of cashews and suck the salt off each nut one by one and put them back in the jar, and no one will call you on it or ask why the *f* you’re being so gross (it’s call a salt tooth–deal with it). –CC
More on Selfish Onelies July 6, 2008
Posted by Onely in Everyday Happenings, Food for Thought.Tags: childfree, selfish
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Although some people’s first instinct is to think that people who don’t want kids are selfish, many people actually *have* kids for selfish reasons:
–to improve their relationship with their spouse or partner
–to leave behind a legacy, copies of their genes
–to have someone to take care of them in their old age
–to relive missed opportunities from their own youth
–to fit in, because everyone else is doing it (more…)
Socializing with the Single: Even if I *am* Selfish. July 5, 2008
Posted by Onely in "Against Love"...?, As If!, Everyday Happenings.Tags: being single is great, desire, having children, Heteronormativity, lectures on literature, nabokov, normalcy, selfish, single, singlism
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So I’m in St. Louis right now, and yesterday I spent the day hanging out with my best friend and her fiancee as we barbecued (and I’m not being flippant using that word – S [the fiancee] made ribs — good ones too. v. impressive!) and entertained M’s friends and family as they came over to celebrate the dual holiday of her birthday and independence day. I had a great time, and for a while I was stuck outside because I shielded myself from the biting bugs with some very strong-smelling bug spray, which M couldn’t stand the smell of inside – and because of it I got to chill with S while he attended the grill and M was inside preparing other food. (more…)
On the road again… July 2, 2008
Posted by Onely in Food for Thought, Great Onely Activities, We like. . ..Tags: 4th of july, being single, birthday, puppy, road trips, single and happy
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So I am preparing for one of my favorite things, a road trip that begins tomorrow (which means that I won’t be posting much, at least through the weekend). I’m heading from Louisville to St. Louis to celebrate my best friend’s birthday (HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAL!) and then on to Kansas City to visit my grandparents (somehow I managed to promise them a visit in July — and I learned of this “promise” through a family letter which they send every month… I’m not complaining, of course… Just saying!).
Anyway. My point being: Road trips are one of my very favorite things about being Onely. (more…)
Pop Music, Scourge of the Onelys (Part 1 of 8,593): Measuring time in relationship units July 2, 2008
Posted by Onely in Food for Thought, Pop Culture: Scourge of the Onelys, Reviews.Tags: being single, measuring time, Pop Songs, relationship, single and happy
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For our first installment of “Pop Music: Scourge of the Onelys”, I would like to highlight Kenny Chesney’s “Don’t Blink”. Now, don’t get me wrong, I would marry Kenny if he asked me (any day now), but I have to comment on these lyrics, which I heard for the eighty-twelfth time during my commute today:
“Don’t blink
Just like that you’re six years old and you take a nap and you
Wake up and you’re twenty-five and your high school sweetheart becomes your wife
Don’t blink
You just might miss your babies growing like mine did”
And I was thinking about how so often we measure the passage of time in units of relationships, marriages, and children. (more…)
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