Why Date When You Can Write? April 29, 2009
Posted by Onely in Dating, Great Onely Activities, single and happy, We like. . ..Tags: being single, finding a boyfriend, Microsoft Word, relationship priorities, time-consuming hobbies, writing is hard
8 comments
I realized why I have so little interest in finding a boyfriend. It’s because I am already in a relationship. His name is Mike Rosoft Word. Yes, I am dating my writing. It is an emotionally exhausting relationship. I often feel I don’t deserve to be with Mike. I sometimes think about breaking if off. But I can’t. When we get along, it’s wonderful. When we aren’t meshing, though, I cry and gnash my teeth. I spend chunks of every weekend and several weeknights with Mike. You see, the more time I spend with him, the greater the chance that we’ll have one of our rare good spells. Last Saturday I told my friend Jess I couldn’t meet her for a movie because I was already planning to be with Mike that evening–even though I had just seen him the night before, and the night before that, too. I want to learn to garden, but Mike doesn’t like that (grit gets in his cracks), so I stay inside with him. (more…)
Tag-team Blogging March 24, 2009
Posted by Onely in Food for Thought, Great Onely Activities, Secret Lives of the Happily Single, single and happy, We like. . ..Tags: blogging as a team, importance of friendship, single friends, single people, we love being single
11 comments
When I told a friend of mine about Onely, he said, “Does anyone ever mention how funny it is that there are two of you writing a blog together about being single?” No, no one ever does. In fact (says Christina), the irony hadn’t even occurred to Lisa or I until that friend of mine mentioned it.
And it is ironic–on the surface. While Lisa and I are jumping up and down on our respective couches yelling about the benefits of solo living, behind the scenes we’re running Onely sort of like a marriage: we are a small team, bound together through common interests and goals, but also through logistics (shared copyrights and creative license, server bills, etc). (more…)
Long Distance Relationships March 11, 2009
Posted by Onely in As If!, Everyday Happenings, Food for Thought, Great Onely Activities, Heteronormativity, single and happy.Tags: heteronormaholes, independence in relationship, long distance relationship, overseas relationship, short distance relationship
18 comments
My ex-boyfriend broke up with me because he was “tired of coming home alone”. At the time, he lived in Florida and I lived in beautiful Northern Virginia. He said he wanted to date someone (anyone!) in his own city for a change, so that he wouldn’t have to come home alone most nights. Of course our breakup also involved other incompatiblities (for example, I wasn’t an asshole, and he was), but the coming-home-alone thing shocked me more than anything else. One of the things I had loved about our long-distance relationship (LDR) was that I had so much private space, which included coming home alone most nights.
I think that people with a Onely mindset tend to not mind LDRs as much as other people do. In fact, I think that we even specifically seek out LDRs. Some people (generally heteronormaholes) might see this as unhealthy, because they view LDRs as inherently inferior to, whaddyacallem, short distance relationships (SDRs). But as we can see from paragraph one, LDRs are only a problem if the people involved have different ways of regarding distance. (more…)
Great Onely Activities: Language CDs February 5, 2009
Posted by Onely in Great Onely Activities.Tags: car sauna, driving alone, Egyptian Arabic, Pimsleur
4 comments
“Ingleesi! Ingleesi!” I yell as I drive down Interstate 66. I’m answering the question the man in my CD player has asked me: “How do you say ‘English’ in Arabic?” He pauses, then says, “Ingleesi. Si. Gleesi. Ingleesi“.
“YES! I knew it!” I yell. “I AM A FREAKING POLYGLOT GENIUS!” I thump the steering wheel. (more…)
The Oneliness of the Long Distance Writer January 22, 2009
Posted by Onely in Dating, Food for Thought, Great Onely Activities.Tags: alan sillitoe, joyce carol oates, single writers, singlewriters.com, slow writer, solitary, writing is hard
13 comments
I’ve been thinking about how writing is so solitary. And about how writing is such a slow process. Solitary plus slow equals lots of time spent by myself, perhaps–perhaps!–even more than suits my introverted nature.
‘Course maybe my writing goes slowly because I spend so much time staring at the screen thinking about how my writing goes slowly. When I’m working on a particularly grueling, stubborn, stiff-dictioned story, I sometimes wonder if it’s worth the effort. Writing one polished page may take hours (Joyce Carol Oates, bite me) before it’s ready to be submitted to some publication that may or may not want it, more likely the latter.
Would my time be more wisely spent going out with my friends? Sometimes I wonder this, when I’m sitting wedged between my laptop and my massage chair (I know, poor me), typing at an average rate of one click per minute–and that’s if you include all my backspaces. (more…)
Thoughts on Singelringen, Anyone? January 12, 2009
Posted by Onely in Dating, Food for Thought, Great Onely Activities.Tags: engagement ring, engagement ring sexist, marriage, multiple translations, proud to be single, Singelringen, wedding ring, weddings
13 comments
We are intriged by the idea of Singelringen, a ring that single people buy to support the mantra that,
“I am not alone. I am Single.”
We think it’s a great core concept. At first glance, Singelringen represents a healthy commitment to and acceptance of one’s self, even when single in a coupled world. The ring
“Reminds the single man or woman that they are already complete while open to possibilities.”
However (and there’s always a however, isn’t there?),
(more…)
ONELIES GONE WILD: Onely does Costa Rica December 15, 2008
Posted by Onely in Great Onely Activities, Honorary Onely Awards.Tags: continental airlines, costa rica, germany, mar y selva ecolodge
3 comments
I’m going to Costa Rica. Why? Not because everyone tells me how gorgeous it is. Not because of the wealth of ecosystems. Not because of the pelagic snorkelling. Not because the Ticos are friendly. Not because I’ve never been to Central America. No. I’m going because two summers ago, my boyfriend and I bought flights to Germany. He did the booking, then he dumped me and uninvited me from the trip, leaving me single and saddled with an 800 dollar credit with Continental airlines. Months ticked by, and I couldn’t decide what to do with the ticket. I had poor health and no great motivation to go anywhere, especially because it seemed that all the Continental flights from DC to anywhere had to first make a jig-jag through Newark, New Jersey. Not a big deal, but it irritated me, as things will when you’re irritable. Meanwhile, the ticket was nearing expiration. (more…)
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