Some Like It Single: Special K March 20, 2009
Posted by Onely in single and happy, Singles Resource, Some Like It Single.Tags: cultural expectations for the single woman, single and happy, smart women rock!, Special K, we love good writing
2 comments
Welcome to yet another installment in our new series, Some Like It Single, where we profile (relatively) small, independent blogs dedicated to exploring what it means to be “single” in American culture and, we hope, around the world.
This week, we’re featuring Special K, where you’re sure to receive a healthy dose of introspective, intriguing, and just plain good writing about what it means to be a single woman meandering through life around the age of 30. K describes, in highly readable and prosaic language, what it means to negotiate between what she wants (or thinks she wants) and what American culture seems to expect of her.
Long Distance Relationships March 11, 2009
Posted by Onely in As If!, Everyday Happenings, Food for Thought, Great Onely Activities, Heteronormativity, single and happy.Tags: heteronormaholes, independence in relationship, long distance relationship, overseas relationship, short distance relationship
18 comments
My ex-boyfriend broke up with me because he was “tired of coming home alone”. At the time, he lived in Florida and I lived in beautiful Northern Virginia. He said he wanted to date someone (anyone!) in his own city for a change, so that he wouldn’t have to come home alone most nights. Of course our breakup also involved other incompatiblities (for example, I wasn’t an asshole, and he was), but the coming-home-alone thing shocked me more than anything else. One of the things I had loved about our long-distance relationship (LDR) was that I had so much private space, which included coming home alone most nights.
I think that people with a Onely mindset tend to not mind LDRs as much as other people do. In fact, I think that we even specifically seek out LDRs. Some people (generally heteronormaholes) might see this as unhealthy, because they view LDRs as inherently inferior to, whaddyacallem, short distance relationships (SDRs). But as we can see from paragraph one, LDRs are only a problem if the people involved have different ways of regarding distance. (more…)
Another Feel-Good Post: YOUR RESPONSES REQUESTED! February 26, 2009
Posted by Onely in single and happy, Your Responses Requested!.Tags: new links, refreshments please, responsese requested, single and happy, singles resources, site reorganization, updates
5 comments
We’re fluffing pillows, people. I mean… As you may have noticed, we’ve been reorganizing, refreshing, and updating some of Onely’s links (scroll down and look to your right!) so as to more accurately reflect our ideological alignments and to highlight blogs dedicated to the practice of being single, as well as Web sites that provide (what we consider to be) important resources for single people. We’ve also tried to include, as often as possible, links to the blogs published by our regular readers (because we love you!).
We wanted to call your attention to this reorganization because we’d also like to solicit from you, Copious Readers, your responses and suggestions for anything we may have forgotten to include and/or missed altogether.We’d also appreciate your suggestions for singles resources (i.e., not blogs) that we have missed, particularly sites that are not designed for profit and are easily accessible to the general public. So, please — plug away!!!
In a related vein, we’ve also decided that we’re going to be profiling some of the blogs you see listed over in the side bar, so as to emphasize our desire for community and dialogue — two elements that are especially valuable when living Onely. We are so appreciative of the readership that has slowly but consistently been growing for us, we want to spread the love as much as possible!
We plan to limit our profiles to independent, non-profit blogs that deal specifically with being single — and are happy to hear any suggestions you have in this regard! We plan to post a new profile once every week or so, and we’ll notify whoever’s next, in case you want us to highlight anything in particular. We’re excited about this mini-project; what do you think?
Eagerly awaiting your responses,
— L & CC
On a (Few) Positive Note(s)… February 24, 2009
Posted by Onely in single and happy, We like. . ..Tags: askmen.com, dining alone, discrimination against single men, etiquette and expectations, LEO Weekly, louisville ky, marsha lynch, positive notes, singlism
4 comments
OK, so we know that our readers love us for our witty and (sometimes) snarky prose that aims to raise consciousness about our (unnaturally?) HAPPY lives as singles. And we know ya’ll love us for exposing and resisting the difficult position singles are often put in by heteronormative cultural and traditional assumptions and practices.
BUT — for a change of pace, Christina and I are happy to report on two positive representations of singles in the media that we noticed recently:
Let’s Get This Over With As Quickly As Possible Day February 13, 2009
Posted by Onely in "Against Love"...?, As If!, Food for Thought, Heteronormativity, single and happy, Singled Out, Your Responses Requested!.Tags: feminist, hallmark, international quirkyalone day, LGTOWAQAP, new year's resolutions, nut sucking, progressive, singles awareness day, take our poll!, valentine's day, we love being single
11 comments
This is Onely’s first Valentine’s Day! Pt-oo! And that is us spitting on the Hallmark and De Beers mudworms who warped the holiday into its current overcommercialized incarnation.
What can Onely say about V-day, aka Let’s Get This Over With as Quickly As Possible Day, that hasn’t been said already? “The holiday is insulting to singles”; “not insulting to singles”; “worth celebrating”; “not worth celebrating” — blah, blah. (more…)
Priesthood, Celibacy, and Being Onely January 14, 2009
Posted by Onely in "Against Love"...?, Food for Thought, Heteronormativity, single and happy, Your Responses Requested!.Tags: catholicism, compulsory heterosexuality, Heteronormativity, marriage as sacrament, priesthood, single and awesome
13 comments
Christina recently pointed me to this very interesting article from the BBC about a priest reflecting on his choice to remain single. Father John Abberton explains that his decision to become a priest was a “positive thing not a negative thing.” In fact,
When I was sixteen and was thinking ahead to what my future would be, I certainly had images of myself as a married man with children. I don’t remember ever struggling with the denial of that. It was a progression into an attitude where I saw myself as being available to as many people as I could be available to and giving myself to the church.
Like many single people, Father John has chosen an admirable occupation and has devoted himself to work that he is passionate about and through which he can enhance the world around him in some very positive ways.
But then Father John’s tone changes slightly, as he compares himself to others who are single (but, ostensibly, not priests?):
I am single for a purpose and my feeling is in someway or another everyone who is single should be single for a purpose. I know there are some people who remain single because they say that is what they want. Although I don’t want to judge people, I think there is a worrying trend in some quarters of society towards a selfish single state.
Stop the Madness! Onely’s Top Ten Reasons NOT to Get Married… January 9, 2009
Posted by Onely in "Against Love"...?, As If!, Food for Thought, Heteronormativity, single and happy.Tags: bunko, matrimania, single and happy, stop the madness!, weddings
17 comments
Hi everyone,
As I mentioned in my previous post about heteronormative wedding cards, part of my holiday madness included attending and participating in the wedding of one of my good friends. Every time I go to a wedding, I can’t help but count the many reasons why I never want to get married (and/or have a wedding). This one was no different — and because my friend IS a close friend who also happens to like to control everything in her life, the reasons I normally have against weddings seemed magnified in this case.
So, in the spirit of all of us who feel justified never wanting a wedding of our own, Onely presents … “Stop the Madness! Top Ten Reasons We Never Want to Get Married”: (more…)
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