In case you don’t believe that Singles are Stigmatized… August 7, 2008
Posted by Onely in Food for Thought, Singled Out.Tags: institutional penalties, single, singlism, stigmatization
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Christina sent me a link to the following article: “Unmarried sisters lose inheritance tax fight.” It’s the UK but methinks similar penalties/rationale would be applied in the US.
— L
“So why are you still single?” August 6, 2008
Posted by Onely in As If!, Food for Thought, Heteronormativity.Tags: good intentions, pathologization of singles, sickness, single, singlehood
3 comments
People usually intend to be helpful and friendly when they ask:
“You’re so (complimentary adjective); so why are you still single?”
As if singlehood were a gross, drippy nose that could and should be cured by a swallow of Sudafed. (more…)
REVIEW: SINGLED OUT, by Bella DePaulo–Why are matrimaniacs matrimaniacs? August 5, 2008
Posted by Onely in book review, Reviews, Singled Out, We like. . ..Tags: bella depaulo, discrimination, heteronormative, marriage mythology, prejudice, single mythology, Singled Out, singlism
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DePaulo, Bella. Singled Out, How Singles Are Stereotyped, Stigmatized, and Ignored, and Still Live Happily Ever After. New York: St. Martin’s Press, 2006
(This is an ongoing, serial review, continued from an earlier post)
In Singled Out, DePaulo theorizes that “matrimaniacs” (people who fixate on the importance of marriage and coupling) belittle single people for the following reason:
Other Lisa’s comment: Stigmas against Married. . . Women August 5, 2008
Posted by Onely in Food for Thought.Tags: accomplishments, feminism, stigma against marriage
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The Other Lisa makes an excellent and interesting comment regarding stigmas against marrieds. We hope to address that issue more soon. For now, I just want to say that Other Lisa’s issue also appears to have a feminist nexus. She says,
“i was reminded again and again that being a young, married woman was the most pathetic thing one could be. . . i’m assuming most people thought that my most important accomplishment was getting married.”
I’m interested to hear whether young, married men feel this kind of judgment on them. (more…)
V is for Vacation! July 27, 2008
Posted by Onely in Uncategorized.1 comment so far
Christina and I are meeting up in Michigan’s Lower Peninsula this week so she can teach me sailing and for a mini-backpacking trip to North Manitou Island. We hope you won’t miss us too much during our week-long hiatus, but we hope in the meantime you’ll read and comment on our earlier posts!
Have a great week everyone. We know we will! 🙂
L & C
Onely as Feminist Resistance July 26, 2008
Posted by Onely in "Against Love"...?, Essay review, Food for Thought, Heteronormativity, Reviews, Singled Out.Tags: adrienne rich, being single, capitalism, compulsory heterosexuality, feminism, friendships between women, lesbian existence, male control, resistance, single and happy
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I recently finished an essay by Adrienne Rich entitled “Compulsory Heterosexuality and Lesbian Existence,” which is old in terms of publication date (1980) but new – brand new – to me. Rich’s primary argument is directed against feminist scholars who deny, ignore and/or marginalize the fact of lesbian existence, but she also mentions other “facts” of female existence – such as living alone and/or single – that have also been ignored in the face of what she calls “compulsory heterosexuality.” (more…)
Naps. July 25, 2008
Posted by Onely in Great Onely Activities, We like. . ..Tags: naps, single and happy
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Being Onely means coming home after working in the park (volunteer gig) for three hours on Saturday mornings and snarfing down food with the fridge door wide open and checking email or watching bad cable television while luxuriating in smelly, dirt-covered clothes before stepping into the shower and making it last as long or as short as you want – no one’s waiting and who cares if you run out of hot water – and then curling up back in bed to sleep for as long as you damn well please. — L
Heads Up! Documentary about Being Happy *and* Being Single in the Works… July 24, 2008
Posted by Onely in Food for Thought, We like. . ..Tags: a single girl's manifesta, documentary, feministing, jerusha stewart, leslie talbot, seeking happily ever after, singular existence
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Feministing, one of the sites that Christina and I love and read daily, just posted today about a new documentary in the works, called Seeking Happily Ever After, which has as its subject — gasp — being happy and being single. Cool! Check out this link to read the post and to watch the trailer.
Also? A few more books that look worth reading are mentioned in the trailer, including Leslie Talbot’s Singular Existence and Jerusha Stewart’s A Single Girl’s Manifesta. I imagine you’ll be hearing more about these books here once we get our hands on them, but if any of you happen to have any info/thoughts/reactions about these books or others, we’d love to know!
– L
Onely.Org 
While We Were Out… Can Marrieds be Onely? August 4, 2008
Posted by Onely in Food for Thought.Tags: reader comment
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Hi everyone! Christina and I are back from a luxurious mosquito-ridden backpacking trip on North Manitou Island in Lake Michigan… It was great! (and no, I’m not being facetious). While we were gone, we received an interesting and thought-provoking comment/question from a good friend of mine, Lisa (and no, she’s not an “imaginary” friend, I swear!), in response to my recent post entitled Naps. Coming from her perspective as a married woman, Lisa’s asking some good questions that I’d like to respond to/clarify about how we define Onely. So you don’t have to go digging around the site, I’ve reproduced the first half of her comment (and my subsequent response) below (I or Christina will get to the second half of the comment in a post later this week, as it deserves special consideration): (more…)
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