Spurrious Rhetoric, continued January 3, 2009
Posted by Onely in Uncategorized.Tags: Abby o'reilly, denial, Dr. Pam Spurr, singlism, the daily mail, the f word
5 comments
As a follow-up to my below Spurrious Rhetoric post, I feel compelled to acknowledge that buried in Dr. Pam Spurr’s singlist article is this one conciliatory, cover-your-ass sentence fragment: “Although, granted, there are some truly happy single women, the majority. . . ”
But at the beginning of her post she says she doesn’t believe that “any” single women are happy. So which is it? (more…)
The Spurrious Rhetoric of Singlism January 2, 2009
Posted by Onely in As If!, Food for Thought, Heteronormativity.Tags: Abby o'reilly, bella depaulo, Dr. Pam Spurr, New Scientist, seepie, single in denial, singlism, the f word
10 comments
This great article by Abby O’Reilly talks about old-school stereotypes against single women. O’Reilly critiques some interesting rhetoric by Dr. Pam Spurr, “alleged sex and relationship expert at the Daily Mail” and, frighteningly, a life coach. (I forget which blog originally led me to the O’Reilly post, but whoever you were, thanks!)
Spurr espouses the notion, so prevalent in singlist society, that if you say you are single and happy–you’re lying. She bases this grandiose generalization on the “thousands” of single people she has life-coached.
She doesn’t seem to realize that her data set is inherently skewed, because usually only people unhappy with their relationship status would approach Spurr about the issue in the first place; what about the thousands–or millions–of happy singles who never use Spurr’s services? Or worse, what if a happy single were to go to Spurr about a different life issue and in the course of discussion happen to mention she was single, and Spurr were to hit her with this, from Spurr’s article in the Daily Mail: (more…)
DID YOU KNOW? (Coming home Onely) December 8, 2008
Posted by Onely in As If!, Food for Thought.Tags: cats, coming home alone, singlism, surprise party
6 comments
Welome to the latest (and by that I mean the first) installment in Onely’s DID YOU KNOW? series.
DID YOU KNOW that no one likes coming home to an empty house?
Yes! It’s true! This was according to an E-vite I received, to a surprise party for my friend who was returning from an extended business trip. “No one likes coming home to an empty house,” the E-vite said, reminding us that my friend’s wife would be out of town during his return, and encouraging us to show up instead so that there would be people waiting in his house for him when he came home from the airport. I was a tad perplexed, because there are few things I like *more* than coming home to an empty house. As much as I love my friends, I also love walking into my foyer, smelling the unbreathed, unstirred air, and putting my bags down in the middle of the rug and either lying on the floor or making toast and feeling the grime of travel roll off me (After a 24 hour trip, doesn’t your grime roll? Or should I see a doctor?).
Copious Readers, if you were coming home from a long flight, would you want to have friends jump out at you from behind the couch, or not? Put your answer in POLL A:
I know it’s dangerous to put a cat joke on an singles blog; that’s just asking to perpetuate the stereotype. (more…)
Pop Culture, Scourge of the Onelys part 7×777: Completely Unscientific Onely Poll for Lori Gottlieb and The Nation October 7, 2008
Posted by Onely in As If!, Pop Culture: Scourge of the Onelys, Singled Out.Tags: bella depaulo, happily single, lori gottlieb, marry him!, single mothers, singlism, what was the nation thinking??
2 comments
Christina alerted me recently to a debate between our (admittedly) favorite singles expert, Bella DePaulo, and writer Lori Gottlieb, who wrote a rather infuriating article entitled “Marry Him!” that was published in The Nation back in February/March 08. I’m not going to touch the conversation between DePaulo & Gottlieb (see below for links to the full exchange), but I do want to ask our valuable, intelligent, anti-singlist and happily single readers the question that Gottlieb seems to already have answered for us:
You say you’re happy being single…
So, are you lying or just in denial?
Chemistry.com solicits Onely! October 6, 2008
Posted by Onely in As If!, Dating, Everyday Happenings.Tags: chemistry.com, dating sites, FMLA, single voters, singlism, strident
4 comments
On our post about dating sites capitalizing on National Singles Week, we tagged chemistry.com. Probably in response to our tag, a chemistry.com solicitor whom I shall call “J” (short for his name, not for “Jerk”) offered to hook me and Lisa up with eligible men for seven free days! Wooeeee!
“Dear Onely,” he says, “I noticed that your blog discusses the challenges that single women go through in today’s hectic world of dating.” Oh, J, you’re so sensitive! Are you available? (more…)
Get out the Onely vote! September 29, 2008
Posted by Onely in As If!, Food for Thought, Singled Out.Tags: newsweek, Sarah Palin lies, single voters, singlism, time, vote
1 comment so far
Single women only earn 56 cents to every dollar a married man makes!
Newsweek‘s and Time‘s coverage of the Sarah Palin VP campaign contains singlist rhetoric disparaging both childfree single women and single moms! (Even though single women form a key voting demographic that could sway the election.)
Bella DePaulo, a social psychologist specializing in singlism (and conveniently for us, also an expert on the social psychology of deceiving and detecting deceit) writes a restrained yet scathing post about these topics here on the Huffington Post. Check it out! And then—GO VOTE! (more…)
FAMILY AND MEDICAL LEAVE ACT: Heteronormative and Singlist September 23, 2008
Posted by Onely in As If!.Tags: family and medical leave act, heteronormative, nucular, single, singlism
1 comment so far
Copious Readership, did you know that the Family and Medical Leave Act is heteronormative and singlist? Lookie here: (more…)
Cat People and Dog People September 11, 2008
Posted by Onely in Food for Thought, Singled Out.Tags: cat person, cats, couple, dog person, dogs, single, singlism
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The terms “Cat Person” and “Dog Person” refer to someone who gravitates to a particular animal, not someone who likes one animal and dislikes another. Similar with Single Person and Coupled Person. (more…)
Are Onelies Just in Denial? Dick comments. August 21, 2008
Posted by Onely in As If!, Food for Thought, Singled Out.Tags: bella depaulo, denial, dick, ism, Living Single, single, singlism
1 comment so far
Submitted by Dick on May 4, 2008 – 7:54pm.You seem to spend an inordinate amount of time worrying about the ‘stigma’ of being single. Could it be that you are repressing your desire to connect with someone? I can hardly believe that single people are so repressed. Just another ‘ism’ to distract people from real problems.
Onely and Overweight August 19, 2008
Posted by Onely in Food for Thought.Tags: cocktail party, leptin, obese, overweight, racism, sexism, single, singlism, weightism
2 comments
Although I am not overweight right now, I take some medicine that can make me overweight, given the right circumstances.
So I got to thinking about the similarities between singlism and weightism. They are the last “isms” that won’t get you shunned in a cocktail party. Racism and sexism are looked on with disgust. (more…)
Onely.Org 